Monday, July 23, 2018

A Mid-Summer Night's Brain Dump

Hello friends! This post is about to be a brain dump because that's the kind of mood I'm in.

I just want to start out by telling you all an experience that I'm having at work. A couple months back I ran into this lady on my way to use the restroom. She complimented me and told me how young I look so I said, "oh thank you." And then she goes, "no really, you don't look old enough to work here. Does your mom know you have this job?" as she laughed to herself. Not really sure what to do with that so I just fake laughed back at her. You guys, I have ran into this lady at work a total of three times since this initial interaction and every.single.time she sees me she carries on about how young I look. I was trying to heat up my lunch at the microwaves one day and she saw me and goes, "ooooh! I know you! You're the little girl that looks like she shouldn't be working here! Did you talk to your mom yet?! Does she know you have this job?!" I know sometimes I can be dramatic on this blog but I shit you not these words came out of her mouth. Another time I ran into her, "You know they have laws to protect kids like you from working!" I can't tell if she thinks she's being funny or is legit making fun of me. Like, we all want to look young but not, "does-your-mom-know-you-work-here" young, so I'm just not really sure what to do with her. My coworkers told me next time she asks me if my mom knows I'm working, I should ask her if her nursing home knows she's out. Seriously contemplating this.

Nate and I had a discussion the other day and I need you all to tell me I'm not crazy (i.e. take my side pls thx). There's an old Jason Aldean song with a lyric in it that says, "I'm torn and it's tearing me apart I want to go but I don't want to break her heart." Here's my beef: if he's torn, it can't be tearing him apart because it's already happened - hence, the past tense. He uses the past tense first, and then uses active voice indicating the tearing is happening right now, even though he already said he's torn. You can't declare yourself already torn and then say yeah but it's tearing me apart. It can't if you're already torn. You feel me?

Also, it's hot outside I just felt like that needed to be said.

I have questions about Instagram stories. Mostly, should I start using it? I used to be team Snapchat all the way because I only have a handful of friends on there and I always sort of felt like that was my safe space to be annoying and unruly and drunk-ish without being judged. Can you be unruly on Instagram stories or are your stories supposed to be as perfectly curated as your feed? Do I have to have makeup on for Instagram stories? I have dabbled a couple times in using it - mostly for promoting ("promoting" LOL) my blog posts when I have a new one up, and to make fun of Gunther when he wears the cone of shame. So anyway, if you answered yes to this question I'm probs also gonna need a tutorial because quite frankly, there's too many options for Instagram stories (point: Snapchat).

Speaking of Instagram - I realize I'm way late to this party but I recently started following Girl With No Job and I find her absolutely hysterical.

And now for the "Did You Know?" segment of this brain dump. Did You Know?
-It's not Postino's, it's just Postino. Singular. I did not know this but after this weekend now I do.
-It's not Joanne's Fabrics, it's Joanne Fabrics. Singular. I did know this and I'm telling you about it so that I can look smart.
-Taylor Swift was spotted going to a studio in NYC last week and leaving 12 hours later, and the next day she wore sunglasses in the shape of a heptagon, which has seven sides, which obviously means she was recording her 7th studio album. Obviously.

So anyway, please enjoy this meme while I end this blog post.

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Sunday, July 8, 2018

June: A Blog Post


I hope this blog post finds you well. Please find below, June things in list(ish) form because I'm having difficulty finding a good way to start out, and complete this post. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you,
T is for Townsend

At: Friday's Front Row (first timer sitting at a patio table!)
For: Sarah's sister Erica's birthday (Hiiii Sarah and Erica!)

Baby shower
For: Brianna's baby Carsyn coming soon to a world near you (i.e. this one)
Prizes won: None. Turns out I am not good at baby shower games and also need to pay closer attention to the directions included in the invitation.
Yay blog friends having babies!

Father's Day
For: Fathers (although we only celebrated mine I dunno what you all did for Father's day)
Gifts received: a mini foosball table and a t-shirt that reads "Thermostat Police" because what dad isn't overly protective of the thermostat and has a borderline coniption when you adjust it by two degrees? 
He's smiling because the accuracy is hitting him hard.

Who: Nathan Townsend
Celebration had: sleeping (graveyards, man) and birthday dinner at Macayo's
Rounds of ammo received: 1,000
Please enjoy this time lapse of the birthday boy:
Same Nate, bigger fish.

Weekend Getaway
Where: Cottonwood (We love small desert towns)
What: Wine tasting
Attire: Matching shirts that read "Drinks well with others." Is there a festival going on, you might ask? No. Is this a bachelorette party, perhaps? No. Do we just like to wear matching shirts for the hell of it? Yes. Yes we do. 

Temperature: HAWT
Solution for said temperatures: umbrella hats and spray coworkers and I are the best damn looking team you've ever seen don't lie to yourself

Other June Notables:
Paul Goldschmidt was awoken from his apparent slumber and won NL Player of the Month for June. He hit like .999 with a bajillion home runs and hundreds of RBI's. If you're asking yourself, "that's not actually possible right?" I'm here to tell you it is because Goldy is America's First Baseman and he is not bound by your mathematics.  

The Suns drafted Deandre Ayton as the NUMBER ONE pick in the draft and it really feels like maybe just maybe possibly maybe the pendulum is swinging our way now. Life has been rough as a Suns fan sometimes

My house got painted. Not by my own accord but rather, mandated by my communist HOA who thinks they can just send me a letter in the mail all willy nilly and require me to spend a bunch of money and paint my house. Last I checked this is America and we're a free people and this is a violation of my rights. (I understand that's not how this works but it's just really what I feel in my heart so let me have this one mmk?). Also, please look at how cute my dog is:

We're a week into July but my OCD tells me I can't blog July things until I recap June things so if you're still reading this - thank you for your patience as I try and fail to post monthly recaps on time. 

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you,
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Sunday, June 17, 2018

March Madness in June - Disney Edition

So earlier this year ("earlier this year" LOL see how behind I am on blogging things?) I happened upon a Twitter thread whereupon a dude filled out a bracket of Disney/Pixar movies and it went viral. Mostly because of how wrong it is. Take a look:
You can't look at this bracket and tell me it's right. I mean, the guy picked Tangled over Lion King. TANGLED over THE Lion King. In what universe??

So anyway, to make a long story short, there was lots of spirited, funny, and highly entertaining discussion around his bracket and due to popular demand, someone ended up making a full seeded Disney/Pixar bracket so that people could fill out their own. Find it here. There's lots of internet fighting these days, and everyone's always mad about something but I dunno, being mad about what Disney movie is best I just feel like is a good thing to be mad about you know? People are passionate about Disney movies and I really appreciate that.

So, upon discovering this full seeded bracket, you can bet that instead of being productive and working hard on a Tuesday afternoon, my coworkers and I instead, devoted the entire afternoon to filling out our Disney/Pixar brackets. We carefully paced up and down our cube aisle debating aloud, "Beauty and the Beast or Mulan?" "Incredibles or Monster's Inc?" "Beauty and the Beast has the better soundtrack right?" RIP, work.

You go your entire life just loving Disney movies right, and anytime one comes up in conversation (cause I dunno about you but Disney movies come up in casual party conversation often) you're just like, "omg yes I love that one!" so to sit down and actually rank them, and pick which one you like the absolute best was a challenging exercise. It was an emotional journey. Cathartic. Heartwarming. Nostalgic. But in the end, there can only be one winner. And mine, was the The Lion King.

My final four were Aladdin, The Emperor's New Groove (most underrated Disney move everrrr), Lion King, and Toy Story. I feel good about my final four and I feel good about my top pick. Lion King is classic Disney. Timeless. I have to admit though, I had a really tough time deciding between Aladdin and Emperor's New Groove. I was OBSESSED with Emperor's New Groove. I ended up picking Aladdin over it because of the Soundtrack. Aladdin soundtrack is fire, be honest. I ran into the same problem with Beauty and Beast vs. Little Mermaid. How does one pick?! I went with Little Mermaid for two reasons: 1.) I did a gymnastics routine for my school talent show in 6th grade to "Under the Sea," and 2.) When my sister and I were kids, we used to put scrunchies around our ankles when we went swimming and pretended we were mermaids, flopping around with our make-shift mermaid tail. I dunno, the mermaid life is just really close to my heart you know?

What's your top Disney pick?! Final four?! Fill out the bracket and let's discuss!

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Monday, June 4, 2018

Where Did You Go, May?

Word on the street is, IT'S JUNE. Which is a little weird because I have been looking all over to try and find where May went and I have no idea where it ended up. JK I found it in my photo library, which I just spent 1+ hours looking through and I'm about to show you all of it. But the point is, May went by fast..pickin' up what I'm layin' down?

May was my dear friend Tyah's 30th birthday and her husband threw her a surprise party (points for you, Abel) and we drank wine together and took photos with oversized 3-0 balloons cause else are you supposed to do at your 30th you know what I mean?
Tyah is 1/4 of what we call, The Quad. 2 Townsends + 2 Haros = The Quad. It's probably not the most original name but I'm not good at math so that's the best I could do. Nate and Abel have been running amok together since like, the 1st grade. Then Abel and Tyah got together in high school and she came into my life with her beautiful flowing blonde hair and perfect face and I wasn't sure how to be friends with someone so perfect but everything turned out fine and we've been bff's ever since. 

May was also my dear friend Jennica's birthday and it just so happened to work out that I had the honor and privilege of dining with, and enjoying the happiest of hours with the birthday girl on her actual birthday. We ate bruschetta, drank wine, and filled out brackets. A Disney bracket, an 80's/90's movie bracket, and a Taylor Swift song bracket, to be exact. I discovered the art of filling out brackets this year and now I can't stop cause it's kind of (read: really) fun. Perhaps more on this later, in its own blog post (cause I need blog material if you know what I mean). I can't speak for the birthday girl, but it was a pretty damn good night if you ask me.

You know what else was pretty damn good (such a predictable transition, I know)?! THE TAYLOR SWIFT REPUTATION STADIUM TOUR. And I went in May. And it was opening night. And it was everything I had hoped it would be. And there was an acoustic version of Dancing with our Hands Tied (which was EVERYTHING). And an acoustic version of All too Well (which also was EVERYTHING cause that's my fav T Swift song of all time). And she danced in a water fountain and ugh I'm sad it ever had to end. 
My friend Kayla and I have gone to every single one of her headlining tours and Reputation was definitely one for the books! Thanks Tay Tay. 

We celebrated mom's in May - mine in particular, with a bouquet of gift cards and more importantly (just being honest) an ice cream bar.
I had more helpings of ice cream than I care to admit and I paid for it in breakouts, but yolo worth it. Mom's sacrifice a lot to raise kids - the least I could do was sacrifice my skin to eat copious amounts of ice cream buried in candy. Call me a team player. 

Nate and I FINALLY got our Sig P365's in May, that we ordered back in February. Sig came out with a compact carry pistol this January that holds 10+1 rounds. TEN PLUS ONE. I got the P238 a couple years ago because it was small enough for me to comfortably carry and I can easily load the magazines, but it only holds 7+1 rounds. So, for Sig to make virtually the same size firearm but increase the capacity - you can imagine why everyone else wanted one too. 
And the rest of May was spent driving all over southern Utah with my husband, visiting a bunch of National Parks.
...but that's another blog post for another day. 😏

May busy. In a good way. It was full of new places. And it was warm enough, that it's starting to smell like summer.

Missed a post in this month? Check them out here:

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Sunday, May 6, 2018

Reputation, Ranked

This is a post about Taylor Swift so if you don't like her (what's wrong with you), I may caution you the rest of this post might be a little boring and slightly weird as I'm about to fan girl out so hard.

Taylor Swift is kicking off her Reputation Stadium Tour here in Arizona on TUESDAY. TUESDAY. Like, the Tuesday that's only two days away. And I could not be more pumped. My friend Kayla and I have been to every one of her shows in AZ over the years AND I even saw her almost front row-ish back when she was opening up for Brad Paisley, and she waived at Nate. SHE WAIVED AT HIM.
I let him know real quick though that if anyone is gonna be best friends with Taylor it's gonna be me, so to not get any ideas. It's been a non-issue since so I think I got my point across.

So anyway, in anticipation of the Reputation Stadium Tour in a couple days I decided to rank all the songs on Reputation, my least favorite to favorite. Let's discuss.

15.) Look What you Made me Do
It kills me a little to have a pick a "worst" song on this album but, Look What You Made me Do, is that. Lyrics are bad ass, music video was even more bad ass and made me like the song a little bit better... but, just not super into this one.

Fav lyric: But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time

14.) So it Goes
This one is just kind meh for me. Not sure how to put my finger on it...maybe too produced? Too techno-y?

Fav lyric: You did a number on me, but honestly baby who's counting?
Honorable mention: that whispered, "1 2 3" after this question is everything.

13.) Dress
I know everyone loves this song and I wish it was higher on my list but I think it's the breathy, soprano chorus that bugs me only ever so slightly.

Fav lyric: I'm spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we're both drunk. Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about...

12.) Dancing with our Hands Tied
This one has a super catchy beat and I like the sound of it. Just not as much as the next 11 songs on the album.

Fav lyric: People started talking, putting us through our paces. I knew there was no one in the world who could take it, I had a bad feeling.

11.) New Year's Day
Vintage Taylor. This is only #11 because after an entire album's worth of bangers, the tempo on this one always makes me feel like I want to skip it. Is that just me or does anyone else have that problem? I don't dislike the song at all in fact, lyrically, this is one of the better ones. What I like best about this song is the imagery she creates. Like, I can picture the glitter on the floor after the party and all the girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby. Vintage Tay, you know.

Fav lyric: But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

10.) Gorgeous 
I love the way she sings this song. It's playful. It's relatable. Like, I can't say anything to your face...cause look at your face was legit me, staring at Nate from across the Sunday School room circa 1997-99. Feel you, Tay.

Fav lyric: aaaaaaaaand I gotta boyfriend he's older than us, he's in the club doing I dunno what
Honorable mention: the baby at the beginning that says "Gorgeous." So presh.

9.) Don't Blame me
Super Hozier Take me to Church vibes on this one and I'm here for it.

Fav lyric: I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy

8.) I did Something Bad
The first time I heard this song I laughed. Because this is Taylor Swift being full on Taylor Swift, in your face, and she doesn't care what you think about it. The queen of self awareness. I wish I could be more like that.

Fav lyric: If he drops my name then I owe him nothing, and if he spends my change then he had it coming
Honorable mention: the "raaa da da da da da da da da da da dah" noise. I don't know what it is but I dig it.

7.) This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
I almost had this song as #1 for the sole reason that Taylor Swift wrote a song with the word "therein" in it.

Fav lyric: And therein lies the issue friends don't try to trick you, get you on the phone and mind-twist you
Honorable mention: that laugh before, "...I can't even say it with a straight face," I need to figure out a way to make that my ringtone. Or my voicemail greeting at work.

6.) King of My Heart
Out of all the songs on this album this one grew on me the most. I absolutely cannot wait to hear this live. Those drums in the chorus starting at :56 - so, so good.

Fav lyrics: Up on the roof with a school girl crush, drinking beer out of plastics cups, say you fancy me not fancy stuff

5.) Call it What You Want
Lyrically, this might be the best on the album. It's like, a sweet ode to her bf but she also finds a way to take some swipes where she needs.

Fav lyric: All my flowers grew back as thorns. Windows boarded up after the storm. He built a fire just to keep me warm

4.) Ready for it
This song is THE JAM and you know it. Put it on your workout playlist. Your running playlist. Your just-because playlist. Put it on all your playlists, people.

Fav lyric: He can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor

3.) Getaway Car
I am embarrassed to admit how much time I spent googling this song and trying to figure out its meaning. This whole entire song is a metaphor you guys, and my conclusion is that Tom Hiddleston IS the getaway car.

Fav lyric: He was running after us I was screaming, 'go go go!' but with three of us honey it's a side show, and a circus ain't a love story, and now we're both sorry

2.) End Game
This song is THE JAM and you know it. Put it on your workout playlist. Your running playlist. Your just-because playlist. Put it on all your playlists, people. I think I already said this about a different song but that's just how Reputation goes (pun intended)...THEY'RE ALL SO GOOD. I can proudly announce I now know all the words to the Ed Sheeran verse, and I'm getting pretty damn close on the Future verse. I still have to look up some of the words though but that's all rap songs for me - I never know what they're saying.

Fav lyric: ... I bury hatchets but I keep maps of where I put 'em

1.) Delicate
I. LOVE. THIS. SONG. The groovy beat. The snaps. The bajillion amounts of times she asks isn't it? The fact that after all this time, after Fearless, Speak Now, 1989, and Red - of all albums, she finally begs the question, is it cool that I said all that? Yes, Taylor. It is. It's cool. I knew as soon as I heard this song it was my fav.

Fav lyric: This ain't for the best, my reputation's never been worse so, you must like me for me

How do you rank Reputation?!

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Tuesday, May 1, 2018

It's Been Real, April

I'm trying to get better at not taking forever to write a blog post, so I told myself tonight after Nate left for work, I would sit down and crank out a blog post in an hour. The problem with that has been I keep hearing noise in the baseball game on tv, so I keep running out to the living room to see what's going on and Daniel Descalso just hit a triple and the Dbacks are now in the lead. Plus, one of my guilty pleasures is to cruise Dodgers twitter whenever they're losing and see all the LA fans melt down. I hate to use the word "fun" to describe it, buuuuuuut it's kind of fun (don't hate me Fleishman's, if you're reading this). So it's been well over an hour and so far all I have to show for this blog post is a folder full of photos I pulled and this paragraph. So I'm off to a good start, obvi.

So it's been a month since I last blogged and that's because April was an interesting month. There were high highs, and low lows. I had a lot of fun, but also cried a lot of tears. I picked out anniversary cards and sympathy cards, and I tried to gift the best bouquet of sunflowers in a brighter shade of yellow than the darkness of grief and the unknown. We celebrated birthdays - the beginning of life, but also the passing of life. I watched Nate carry the casket of one his best friends, and saw him grieve.

There were tears in April, but also laughter.

We took my in-laws out to the Angry Crab for my MIL's birthday.
Sherri ordered a bag of mussels (the seafood kind, not the human kind - this is the Angry Crab, not the black market mmk) and Carl ordered gator nuggets that surprisingly, were very tasty. Try as we may, we couldn't get Carl or Nate to wear the bibs. The bib is part of the Angry Crab experience if you ask me. Men.

Nate and I saw nine years of marriage come and go. NINE. Don't ask me how that happened I don't have a good answer for you.

I saw the Ocean in April.
It had been a while for the ocean and me. I came, I saw, I played a little air hockey on the Santa Monica Pier and enjoyed the peace and serenity brought to us by the sweaty, shirtless, over-tanned dude on the boardwalk performing what seemed to be a variety of jazzercise numbers to 80s one-hit wonders songs being played through a loud speaker.

We also made a stop at Dodgers Stadium. It had been a while since I'd been there too but contrarily, has in fact not been a while since I've watched the Dbacks beat the Dodgers. That happens often this year and it was just as enjoyable an experience watching it in real life, as it is on tv.
Sorry, I'll stop with the shit talking. I'm not a good shit talker. Actually the truth is I just can dish it out but I can't take it. Keepin' it real on that one.
K sorry I'm really done now.

I made my first visit of the year to Chase Field in April. Sarah and I waited in line for the Archie Bradley bobble head on a giveaway night. We love giveaways. And we love Archie. And we also don't mind standing in line for a high-demand bobble in April vs. the middle of July so thanks for lookin' out, Dbacks.

April was also the first camping trip of the year and a good one it was. It came at the perfect time; after a long month of riding an emotional rollercoaster we loaded up the boat, the side by side, and the dogs and drove north.

One of my favorite parts of the weekend was both the dogs, and my niece and nephew got to take rides in the side by side for the first time.
I am happy to report that all children and all animals thoroughly enjoyed the side by side and no one tried to jump out (lookin' at you, Maycee and Gunther).

My nephew Noah is having more fun than he looks, his helmet just squishes his cheeks together which is both adorable and also kind of funny, but I know he's smiling on the inside. 

Also, I need to share the following photo sequence with you. Noah had a shirt on that said "Ladies, I'm single" and I said "Noah I like your shirt can you show it me?" And this is what I got:
If that doesn't beam you up and carry you through the whole month of May on a cloud I dunno what will.

April was good and bad. It was warm. It was eventful. 2018 keeps rolling on.

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