Sunday, June 22, 2014

My Husband is Way Cooler Than Me

In honor of my husbands birthday this past weekend, I want to take a minute and share with you all the complex that I have everyday with him: Nate is way cooler than I am. Like, there's not even a chance I can ever be as cool as him and I often feel like just giving up in trying to do so. Here's why...

He does things like this:
If you were to take a picture of me engaging in one of my hobbies it just wouldn't have the same effect. Take blogging for example. A picture of me sitting at my computer screen isn't really as bad ass as this.

He catches things like this:

...And kills things like this:
I've never killed an animal before. I've shot at one...twice. And missed...both times.

He fights terrorists
I'm not brave enough to fight terrorists.

No matter how many college degrees you have, he's always right.
...I'm trying to accept the fact that all this student loan debt doesn't make me smarter than him. Rats.

He taught Gunther how to shoot a BB gun

My idea of decorating doesn't quite send the same message as his does

He chops down Christmas trees
So basically he's like a lumberjack, or something.

And last but not least, Nate's way cooler than me because this:

And also this:

But even though Nate might be cooler than me, don't be fooled, cause I can still take him in a good 'ol fashioned wrestling match...
...with Gunther's help. And with him letting me win.

Happy birthday to my husband, who will always be cooler than me. And I'm totally OK with that.


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Monday, June 16, 2014

The Camp Trip that was Super Fun but had Some Non-Super Fun Things Also

Alright guys, this weekend was a doozy. So much so, that I haven't blogged about it until now, Monday...or probably Tuesday considering it's already 8pm and it takes me foreverrrr to write posts lately, so blog world probably won't see it until Tuesday. I still have camp gear spewed across my house, two coolers that haven't been unloaded, and a duffle bag of clothes/toiletries/etc. that haven't been unpacked. I need to get this laziness under control. But I don't even care cause the mess is worth the weekend we had. My family and I went camping and it was the bomb.com. It was even more bomb.com than usual because we had kayaks this year. And we took them. And we used them. We kayaked and camped all in one weekend.
However, for as much fun as it was, there was also some non-fun things. For example:

We were almost an hour late getting on the road in the morning cause my parents had issues strapping down their kayaks on their vehicles...
...AND THEN the new tires that Nate put on his truck the previous night started freaking out and shaking like crazy once we got on the highway. So we stopped at Discount Tire in Fountain Hills who couldn't help us because we didn't have the correct lug nuts...
...SO THEN we had to drive all the way back home to get the correct lug nuts to avoid an unnecessary $80 extra bucks to get the tires fixed...
...AND THEN once we got the correct lug nuts from our house, we took the truck to a Discount in the valley, waited 45 minutes for them to balance the tires, then we were finally on the road...
...AND THEN when we got up north to where we would be camping, Nate and I spent 2 hours driving around trying to find where everyone else set up camp (cause duh, no cell phone service)...
...AND THEN two hours later we found them at the lake and they took us to their camp site...
...AND THEN we discovered why we couldn't find them, because they were camping in a designated no camp zone...
...SO THEN they all had to tear everything down that they set up and find a new campground (cause duh, expensive fines and tickets for breaking the law)...
...SO THEN we found a good camp spot and everyone set up camp...again (except for Nate and I cause duh, the tire fiasco).

So needless to say, the first 24 hours of our trip was a little rocky. And I'm pretty sure my mom was about to boil over in frustration but fortunately that didn't happen. Because a boiled-over mother is never a good scenario for anyone.

BUT THEN, Saturday came around and we were like, "Yes! Finally! It's time to kayak!" So we loaded up the kayaks (herein referred to as "'yaks") and drove down to the lake. Five campers, five 'yaks.
BUT THEN when we got down to lake and onto the water, holy mother of Anemoi - greek gods of wind was it freakin' windy. Like, hold onto your hat cause it'll blow right off your head windy. Like, paddle for 30 minutes straight just to stay in the same spot windy. Like, windy enough for Nate to complain about it...and Nate never complains about anything. Except for me asking too many questions. He always complains that I ask too many questions.

My parents and I made it about 15 minutes before we needed to pull over and take a break. Literally, 15 minutes. It was that bad. And I'm really not even being dramatic this time. Ask Nate, he'll tell you. So the first cove I spotted I motioned my parents over, got out of my yak and sat down on the first rock I could find. And didn't move my arms. Cause they were tired after just 15 minutes of paddling. Fortunately, the consolation prize for a terribly windy day was the absolute gorgeous scenery.

After our first pit stop, we got back in the 'yaks and gave it another go. ...only to give up a short while later cause you know, SO. MUCH. WIND. So instead of fighting the losing battle of mother nature, we found a shady spot, pulled up a chair rock, ate our picnic lunches and watched the rest of the poor souls trying to kayak on the lake.

I said, "Nate smile" and this is what I got...

...SO THEN when we were loading up, trying to leave, one of my parents 'yaks fell off the roof of their SUV. Whoops. Add another to the "non-fun things" category.

But we shook it off with a game of cornhole that afternoon.
Or if you're me, a game of scoring cornhole while enjoying a cold beer in the best .99 cent "America" coozie I ever spent.
Do I know how to score cornhole? No. I just wrote down whatever they yelled at me cause my eyes were closed and I was trying to take a nap.

Saturday night we ate like kings since Nate and Adam were brave enough to go back out on the 'yaks and brave the wind to catch some trout. And catch some trout they did:
...and eat them we did. Nate also grilled up some of the deer steak he brought up, so it was a true surf and turf for dinner Saturday night.

Sunday morning our fate was a little bit of a mystery; would we kayak? Was it windy? Less windy than Saturday? What should we do? Should we go home? Nate had the idea of going up to Woods Canyon Lake, which is a little bit higher in elevation and isn't situated in a canyon so the wind isn't as severe. So that's what we did. That Nate, he's full of good ideas. So we packed up and headed up to Woods Canyon. And I'm sure glad we did. The wind was like, a million times less than at Knoll Lake, despite the occasional gust, but it was actually enjoyable. I could actually take a moment to stop paddling and reach for my camera without drifting all the way back to the end of the lake.
There was even a little grassy area where we beached up and took a few minutes to eat some Doritos and Chips Ahoy....cause junk food is what you eat when you're camping right?

I've decided to name my 'yak Cinnamon (you know, cause it's red and everything). Middle name, Spice. Cause then when I sit in it, it adds the "everything nice" part. ...See what I did there?

My view for the afternoon:

Considering all that went wrong in getting the weekend started, I couldn't think of a better way to end Father's Day weekend than in calm waters, in the 'yaks with my dad and my family.

Just be on time, secure your tires properly, strap your 'yaks securely, read the signs, and avoid the wind and you'll be A-OK on your next camp trip. The whole time things were going wrong my family kept being like "Well this will make for a good blog post!" and "Rissa will have fun blogging about this!" so I was starting to feel a little pressure to make this post a good one. Hopefully I captured everything. And hopefully it's a good one. Cause I'm ending it now. Cause I've been at this for a couple hours now and there's still camp gear spewed across my house and two coolers that still aren't unloaded. Ugh, recovering from awesome weekends are hard.

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Tuesday, June 10, 2014

This One Has No Title Cause I Can't Think of a Good One

Hey guys. You wanna know what's almost as hard as ending a blog post? Starting one. Which is why this post is starting out this way. Cause I don't know how else to do it. Also, I think in the entire 2 or 3 or however many years I've had this blog now, this is the first time I'm sitting down and writing without knowing what I'm gonna write about. It feels a little risky. You know like, living life on the edge or something. I dunno what I'm blogging about but I'm blogging anyway! So risky!...... Ugh, I know, if that's "life on the edge" for me I'm a terribly lame person. Whatever.

Believe it or not I actually had a few ideas of things to blog about tonight, but then something happened this afternoon at the grocery store that really put me off and I wasn't really in the mood anymore to blog about said ideas. So then I wanted to write about what happened, but I'm not sure if I have the nerve to write about what happened cause, er, well, it's kind of controversial. Ok fine, I won't be that annoying blogger that's all vague and tries to tell you things without telling you things (I hate that), it involved guns. Well, just one actually. No one got shot. There was no crime scene. No laws were even broken (per say), but in order to write that post I would have to express my humble opinion on guns and the 2nd Amendment and well, quite frankly I'm a chicken and sometimes I'm afraid to express my opinions cause I don't want anyone to hate me or send me nasty-grams. I don't have thick skin and you'll make me cry. So instead I'm gonna show you a picture of the kayaks Nate and I bought recently and how we put them in my parents' pool (cause that's what you do after you get a kayak right?). Cause that's funny, and who can disagree with kayaks in a pool?? Kayaks in a pool is a bipartisan initiative.

Guys, I'm ready. I'm ready for kayaking. Look how cute my life jacket is.

Also, look how funny my dogs are:
There's this crevice in between the couch and the ottoman that they like to burrow in (the verb burrow, not the the noun burro. You know like, a donkey or burrito? Burro?) and I think it's really funny and cute and annoying all at the same time. Cause then when I go to stand up I have nowhere to put my feet.

Did I ever tell you guys how I went to a baseball game with my new blog besties turned real life besties, Kailey and Brianna?...I need to stop saying besties. I'm 27. Whatever. Anyway, it's true. And it looked mostly like this:
...which is basically what our group texts would look like if brought to life. Lots of "lolz" and "hahaha's" and probably a few "awk's." And most of them in all caps. It was Kailey's first Major League Baseball game and at the conclusion of the very first play of the game when people started cheering she goes "Is that real noise??" And she wasn't kidding. It's ok though, we talked it out and she won't make that mistake again.

K guys, I don't talk a lot about Nate on here and my marriage and lovey dovey-ness cause I don't like it and it kind of makes me cringe, but we shared a moment in Home Depot the other day that I just have to share with you because I want you all to know how much my husband loves me and that he would do absolutely anything for me. I picked a hang nail (cause I do that sometimes) and it started bleeding right? So then I yelled to Nate, "Help!! I'm bleeding!" So he came over to me, took a look at my finger and said, "There's not enough blood there for me to be concerned about," and then he turned around and kept walking.

Speaking of Nate, I'm gonna end on that note cause he's about to get home which means I need to go finish watching Real Housewives of New York before he finds out I watch Real Housewives of New York and gives me hell for it.

Love you, mean it, bye.


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Monday, June 2, 2014

Things I'm Tired of Reading About

You guys I almost didn't blog tonight, because earlier today I picked a hang-nail and now my middle finger is really sore and tender and it kind of hurts to type on the keyboard. But then I told myself, "Rissa you're being dramatic" and decided to come blog anyway. Cause I have a few things on my mind that I wanna blog about.

I realize my posts have been sparse around here lately (like, once a week sparse), but that doesn't usually mean I stop reading blogs. And while I've been reading blogs lately, there's a few trends that I've seen pop up in blogland that quite frankly, I'm tired of reading about. On that note, I don't usually use this space to vent and whine and be all negative and complain-y, but I kind of feel like it right now. So, I get a pass since it doesn't happen often right??

Things I'm tired of reading about it blogland

1.) First and foremost, and I do mean "foremost" because this bugs me the most, I'm tired of reading about you questioning the existence of your blog. You know, those posts where people are like, "Is blogging really worth it? Is it worth it to take the time and effort to come here 5 days a week and write in this blank space? Is it worth it to deal with all the negative comments??" And then it always ends up being worth it to them and nothing's changed. And they have this debate like, once a month. I'm tired of reading about that. If you've come to the conclusion that you love blogging and it's "worth it" let's just keep it moving mmk? It's not that hard to figure out, if you don't like blogging - quit it. If you don't want to blog 5 days a week - don't do it. It's not like blogging is your job, you're not obligated to it....unless of course it is your job and you are obligated to it, in which case I especially don't want to hear you moaning about what a chore blogging has become because you've made that choice for yourself. Ooof, I already sound terrible and I'm only on #1...

2.) Secondly, I'm really tired of reading about "tips and tricks" and "advice" that really isn't a tip, or trick, or an actual piece of advice, but rather, common sense. An example: "[X number of] Ways to Stay Cool This Summer:
- Drink lots of water!
- Use sunscreen!
- Stay indoors!

Another example:
"Summer Fashion Essentials:
- Flip flops!
- Tank tops!
- Sunglasses!
- Shorts!
...Those are not "essentials." Those are common sense seasonal items of clothing. C'mon guys. You can't tell me these things warrant their own posts. Please don't insult my intelligence, or anyone else's for that matter, by suggesting we would never think to drink water when it's hot out, or wear shorts in the summer.

3.) Thirdly, I'm tired of reading about how you liked something first.
Like, to actually go out of your way to let the world know that you liked something first. And now that thing, whatever it may be, is popular and trendy and lots of people like it but dang-it you liked it first!! And you need everyone else to know!!! And it's sooooo annoying that so many people now like that thing!! I really hate to be the bearer of bad news here so don't kill the messenger...but people are allowed to like things. And when lots of people like the same things it becomes a trend. Bloggers live and die by trends (well, except for me, I'm not cool enough to be trendy), why are you upset that the thing you love is now trendy?? Personally, I love sunflowers. If sunflowers became trendy I would be so happy because I could buy everything with sunflowers on them: keychains, toothbrushes, undies, fake tattoos to put on my cheek - you name it I'd buy it! Yay for when the thing I love becomes popular!

I'll stop at three; it's a short list but I'm already feeling kind of bad for being so, well, bitchy, so I think we'll call it a day. If you're a perp (that's "perpetrator" but I think "perp" is funnier) of all and/or any combination of the above, I don't hate you and we can still be friends and I'll probably still read your blog anyway. But I just want you to know that I can figure out what to wear in the summer time on my own. Now, I'm off to go find some sunflower scented deodorant.


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Sunday, June 1, 2014

My Weekend: Wine, and Margaritas, and Girlfriends Oh My

The bad thing about the weekend being over is that, well, the weekend is over. But the good part about the weekend being over is that I can blog about it. Actually, that's not always 100% true seeing as how my weekends aren't always something worth writing about. But in the case of this weekend, it in fact was something worth blogging about. Cause I had a bunch of fun.

Friday night I went to a local wine bar with a few girlfriends. I don't really need to explain that wine coupled with girlfriends is a recipe for a good night. And that it was. You wanna know how I know it's a good night?? Cause you drunk text your parents. Drunk texting your parents is the best kind of drunk texting. Especially when your mom starts shouting at you in all caps, and then texts you a picture of her toes "just because." Hey, if I'm not making sense , she may as well not make sense either right?

On top of that, old girlfriends coupled with new girlfriends is also a fabulous equation because you have old friends and new friends, like Kailey for example, coming together for a fusion of friend-ness. A friend fusion. A fusion of friends. And I can't speak for everyone, but personally, I love fusions.  

You know what else is a good fusion?? Pool time and margaritas. And I also enjoyed that fusion this weekend.

My dear friend Tyah had a free weekend, which doesn't happen often between her becoming a nurse practitioner, and homework, and commuting to and from Tucson like, 5 days a week or something like that; so when she tells me she's free for the weekend I need to jump on that. So I did.

Things got a little rowdy after round 3(ish)

And then our pool day turned into a pool day/night because we had to sit around and eat pretzels and tortilla chips until 10:30 at night to soak up all that tequila before we could go our separate ways home. Then this morning my mom text me and was like, "Well, I just got done vacuuming all the pretzel crumbs out of the couch...I don't think I have to ask if you had fun yesterday." Pretty much.
 
But it gets even better because then on Sunday Tyah and I got even more impromptu pool time together. Except this time, sans margaritas. Which was probably smart all things considered.

This pool had a really cool waterfall/grotto thing, except less playboy mansion-ish and more suburbia Arizona-ish. 

So, to summarize my weekend looked like this:
Wine
Girlfriends
Margaritas
Pool time
More pool time. And I'm bloated from all the junk I ate/drank, and I'm sunburned, and I haven't showered yet cause I love the smell of chlorine on my skin (is that weird?). So all in all, not too shabby of a weekend.

Happy Monday friends!


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