Monday, July 23, 2018

A Mid-Summer Night's Brain Dump

Hello friends! This post is about to be a brain dump because that's the kind of mood I'm in.

I just want to start out by telling you all an experience that I'm having at work. A couple months back I ran into this lady on my way to use the restroom. She complimented me and told me how young I look so I said, "oh thank you." And then she goes, "no really, you don't look old enough to work here. Does your mom know you have this job?" as she laughed to herself. Not really sure what to do with that so I just fake laughed back at her. You guys, I have ran into this lady at work a total of three times since this initial interaction and every.single.time she sees me she carries on about how young I look. I was trying to heat up my lunch at the microwaves one day and she saw me and goes, "ooooh! I know you! You're the little girl that looks like she shouldn't be working here! Did you talk to your mom yet?! Does she know you have this job?!" I know sometimes I can be dramatic on this blog but I shit you not these words came out of her mouth. Another time I ran into her, "You know they have laws to protect kids like you from working!" I can't tell if she thinks she's being funny or is legit making fun of me. Like, we all want to look young but not, "does-your-mom-know-you-work-here" young, so I'm just not really sure what to do with her. My coworkers told me next time she asks me if my mom knows I'm working, I should ask her if her nursing home knows she's out. Seriously contemplating this.

Nate and I had a discussion the other day and I need you all to tell me I'm not crazy (i.e. take my side pls thx). There's an old Jason Aldean song with a lyric in it that says, "I'm torn and it's tearing me apart I want to go but I don't want to break her heart." Here's my beef: if he's torn, it can't be tearing him apart because it's already happened - hence, the past tense. He uses the past tense first, and then uses active voice indicating the tearing is happening right now, even though he already said he's torn. You can't declare yourself already torn and then say yeah but it's tearing me apart. It can't if you're already torn. You feel me?

Also, it's hot outside I just felt like that needed to be said.

I have questions about Instagram stories. Mostly, should I start using it? I used to be team Snapchat all the way because I only have a handful of friends on there and I always sort of felt like that was my safe space to be annoying and unruly and drunk-ish without being judged. Can you be unruly on Instagram stories or are your stories supposed to be as perfectly curated as your feed? Do I have to have makeup on for Instagram stories? I have dabbled a couple times in using it - mostly for promoting ("promoting" LOL) my blog posts when I have a new one up, and to make fun of Gunther when he wears the cone of shame. So anyway, if you answered yes to this question I'm probs also gonna need a tutorial because quite frankly, there's too many options for Instagram stories (point: Snapchat).

Speaking of Instagram - I realize I'm way late to this party but I recently started following Girl With No Job and I find her absolutely hysterical.

And now for the "Did You Know?" segment of this brain dump. Did You Know?
-It's not Postino's, it's just Postino. Singular. I did not know this but after this weekend now I do.
-It's not Joanne's Fabrics, it's Joanne Fabrics. Singular. I did know this and I'm telling you about it so that I can look smart.
-Taylor Swift was spotted going to a studio in NYC last week and leaving 12 hours later, and the next day she wore sunglasses in the shape of a heptagon, which has seven sides, which obviously means she was recording her 7th studio album. Obviously.

So anyway, please enjoy this meme while I end this blog post.

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Sunday, July 8, 2018

June: A Blog Post


I hope this blog post finds you well. Please find below, June things in list(ish) form because I'm having difficulty finding a good way to start out, and complete this post. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you,
T is for Townsend

At: Friday's Front Row (first timer sitting at a patio table!)
For: Sarah's sister Erica's birthday (Hiiii Sarah and Erica!)

Baby shower
For: Brianna's baby Carsyn coming soon to a world near you (i.e. this one)
Prizes won: None. Turns out I am not good at baby shower games and also need to pay closer attention to the directions included in the invitation.
Yay blog friends having babies!

Father's Day
For: Fathers (although we only celebrated mine I dunno what you all did for Father's day)
Gifts received: a mini foosball table and a t-shirt that reads "Thermostat Police" because what dad isn't overly protective of the thermostat and has a borderline coniption when you adjust it by two degrees? 
He's smiling because the accuracy is hitting him hard.

Who: Nathan Townsend
Celebration had: sleeping (graveyards, man) and birthday dinner at Macayo's
Rounds of ammo received: 1,000
Please enjoy this time lapse of the birthday boy:
Same Nate, bigger fish.

Weekend Getaway
Where: Cottonwood (We love small desert towns)
What: Wine tasting
Attire: Matching shirts that read "Drinks well with others." Is there a festival going on, you might ask? No. Is this a bachelorette party, perhaps? No. Do we just like to wear matching shirts for the hell of it? Yes. Yes we do. 

Temperature: HAWT
Solution for said temperatures: umbrella hats and spray coworkers and I are the best damn looking team you've ever seen don't lie to yourself

Other June Notables:
Paul Goldschmidt was awoken from his apparent slumber and won NL Player of the Month for June. He hit like .999 with a bajillion home runs and hundreds of RBI's. If you're asking yourself, "that's not actually possible right?" I'm here to tell you it is because Goldy is America's First Baseman and he is not bound by your mathematics.  

The Suns drafted Deandre Ayton as the NUMBER ONE pick in the draft and it really feels like maybe just maybe possibly maybe the pendulum is swinging our way now. Life has been rough as a Suns fan sometimes

My house got painted. Not by my own accord but rather, mandated by my communist HOA who thinks they can just send me a letter in the mail all willy nilly and require me to spend a bunch of money and paint my house. Last I checked this is America and we're a free people and this is a violation of my rights. (I understand that's not how this works but it's just really what I feel in my heart so let me have this one mmk?). Also, please look at how cute my dog is:

We're a week into July but my OCD tells me I can't blog July things until I recap June things so if you're still reading this - thank you for your patience as I try and fail to post monthly recaps on time. 

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you,
 photo Carissa_zps53ecb502.png

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