Wednesday, January 22, 2014

10 Signs I'm Not Ready to be a Mom

I could start off this post by telling you how annoying it is to have everyone asking you, "when are you gonna have kids?!!" but to be honest, no one really asks me that.
They know better.
Kids terrify me, and the idea of being in charge of one terrifies me even more. So heres 10 more signs that tell me I'm not ready to be a mom:
1.) Soggy food in the sink while doing dishes makes me gag. So I'm pretty sure poopy diapers are out of the question.

2.) Whenever someone in my news feed announces a pregnancy my first thought is, 
"another one bites the dust."...is that mean??

3.) I can only oooh and ahhhh over a baby for so long and then I'm over it.
You're really cute, baby. I get it. But I'm gonna go check the score of the baseball game now, K?
...is that mean??

4.) I'm not ready to go nine months without any wine.

5.) The thing I look forward to most on the weekends is sleeping in, and once you have a baby you can't really sleep in for like, the next 18 years.

6.) If I can't figure out what my dogs want when they whine at me, surely I won't be able to figure out what a baby needs.

7.) Child birth.
Don't make me talk about it.
Don't make me listen to you talk about it.

8.) $35 on dog food is a little steep for me. I get the impression that children cost way more than $35.
...to raise and provide for one that is, not to buy one out-right. This is America, you can't buy children.

9.) I've unfollowed everyone's pregnancy, baby, nursery, maternity photos, and parenting boards on Pinterest. No offense or anything.

10.) I'm just too lazy. You moms out there are hard workers and I just don't have it in me right now to rear, and nurture, and grow the future decision makers of the United States of America.
I'm content with a bowl of mac n' cheese and a Real Housewives of anywhere marathon for now.

        

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21 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha. You're so funny. Aunt Trudy and I were just talking about this today!!!

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    1. Haha!! You're ears must've been ringing! Or mine...one way or another ;)

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    1. Thanks Brittany! Am I right or am I right?? ;)

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  3. Now whenever I announce I am preg I will vision you singing another once bites the dust and dancing to it.

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  4. Bahaha I love you! A friend and I were just talking last night about the birthing process. No thank you at all! Can't the baby just magically come out without all that pain and grossness!? Ugh Im not having any kids any time soon. Another reason we are besties:)

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  5. I am not ready either.. I may write about this soon. EVERYONE keeps asking us when?

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  6. Hahaha this is hilarious!!
    I've been having baby fever lately, but the whole birth thing really freaks me out.

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  7. HAHAHA! Love this - #7 and 8 literally made me laugh out loud!! I'm not ready either, need a couple more years of "me and Aaron only" time ;)) plus getting up early to let the dog pee is already annoying enough haha

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  8. HELL YES! Preach, my sista!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know I'm right there with you!

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  9. alllllllll of this. yes yes yes yes yesssssssssss

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  10. #4 will be so hard!! And #8 made me crack up! It's all so true!!

    agirlandhersparkles.blogspot.com

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  11. Ah, this makes me laugh! When I was in college I made a list of 20 reasons to never have children. In the past 5 years since I graduated, I've gotten over most of those, but we haven't actually quite gotten around to the whole having kids thing. ;) One of these days that is going to be awesome, but I'm not going to lie - I love how much freedom we have to take off and travel right now. :)

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  12. This is hilarious! I agree with every. single. one.

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  13. Aren't you glad your mom didn't feel this way? Just kiddin'. Kind of.

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  14. I agree with every item on this list times 100!

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  15. I agree with every single one of these!!! AMEN sister!!! I'm not ready either and I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who thinks these things :0)

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  16. Ha Love it...Enjoy sleeping in and being lazy and being you!!

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  17. HECK YES! Every time I go on FB these days someone is preggo. I mean I want kids, and probably soon, but it just seems like everyone is doing it right now :) This is hilarious.

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