Monday, August 5, 2013

Shark Week: What You Won't Find on the Discovery Channel

This week marks the beginning of Shark Week

I'm gonna let you in on a secret that the Discovery Channel won't tell you...

There's new species of shark to be feared:

The Lab Shark

The Lab Shark is a sub-species of the Labradonian Shark, and can be found in the residential pool waters of the Southwest.
They are known for their endurance and size, ranging anywhere from 75-90 lbs.

Lab Sharks are the primary predators of marine-chlorine mammals, and prey on mostly bottom-feeders and plankton of the like.
For example:

They also rank the highest for having the most attacks on tennis balls.

Lab sharks live in any chlorinated bodies of water, and are most active in the months between May and September. One of the densest populations of this species is found at the King residence in Chandler, AZ, a suburb of the Greater Phoenix area.

These sharks have been recorded at depths as great as 5 ft, and have no migratory patterns known to researchers at this time.

Lab Sharks have a large, robust snout, and a unique fur-coating, unlike any other of the shark varieties.

If there's one thing to be noted: no tennis ball, noodle, kick-board, or hat is safe.

Rid your pools of any potential toys, or anything which can be chewed, and you will enjoy a safe and happy summer.

Below you can observe the Lab Shark in its natural habitat.
Caution: viewer discretion is advised.

Happy Shark Week!

 photo townsend-sig_zpsd6f7a124.jpg

5 comments:

  1. Those lab sharks....terrifying creatures!

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  2. To be honest, I would rather watch an an entire week of your sharks than the actual Shark Week!

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  3. if the discovery channel featured all lab sharks i would actually watch it!!! fred is a pit shark...that boy loooooooves to swim

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  4. Hahaha, this is hilarious!! I have me a lab shark at home. He is so big that he's more of a polar bear, but I wouldn't have him any other size!

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