Things That Never Cross a Dog's Mind

- I should probably go lay down, mom will feed me when she's ready

- I don't think I'll swim today, I don't wanna get my hair wet

- I don't feel safe in this car without a seat belt

- I better be careful where I wag my tail, I could break something

- I'm not hungry today

-I haven't showered in like, 3 weeks

- I feel naked

- I should celebrate my birthday

- I'd rather not put my mouth on that bone, it's kind of dirty

- That was really rude of me to beg for your food

- I feel dirty

- I'm getting bored chasing this ball

- There's no room for me on this chair

- That's mom's spot, I'll move

- That's just a car driving by, I don't need to bark at that

- I asked for a slutty nurse costume

- Too bad I don't have thumbs

- I wonder if mom will blog about us today?