Tuesday, July 30, 2013

I'm Carissa and I'm a Feminist. I think.

You can tell by the title of this post, that it might be a doozy.
And also a rant. I can't guarantee it won't turn into more of a rant.
A long one.
A long rant.

You've been warned.

If you frequent my blog often you know I don't get too deep 'round these here parts.
I avoid controversy, hot-button issues, and scandals of the like. 
I hate conflict, and I fear all the aforementioned will bring conflict to my blog and mean people will leave "anonymous" comments and then I'll cry myself to sleep at night.

I'd just rather be happy and tell you a good joke instead.

But alas, today calls for a serious post cause I've had something on my mind lately, and I think it's time it makes its way onto the blog.

Hi. I'm Carissa and I'm a feminist.
I think.

It all began on Sunday when I was perusing the interwebs and a featured story on Yahoo had something to do with Robin Thicke and his music video for "Blurred Lines."
I remember hearing a bunch of fuss about the video when it came out, but I ignored it because I really don't care about Robin Thicke.
But out of curiosity, I pulled it up on the Tubes and watched the video anyway.

So stupid.
Albeit not that much more stupid than anything else out there nowadays.

So then I went back to Google and started reading about why people were so upset about it, what all the talking-heads were saying, and lastly, what Robin Thicke himself said about it in an interview.

In a nutshell, people were upset by it because there's topless women running all around, the lyrics to the song are "rape-y" (their words, not mine), and the video is degrading to women. 

That said, when I watched the Robin Thicke video, it really didn't stand out to me as anything more scandalous than any other lame artist with a catchy song, shallow lyrics, and no creativity other than to put half-naked women running around in their video.
Even when I went back and looked up the lyrics, the lyrics didn't even stand out to me as "rape-y." After I read what people said about them, I could certainly see that. But at face value I really
wasn't that offended.

Until I read the interview Robin Thicke himself gave regarding the controversy.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you, Robin Thicke:

"...People say, 'Hey do you think this is degrading to women?' I'm like, 'Of course it is. What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman. I've never gotten to do that before. I've always respected women.'"   

Really, Robin Thicke? Really???

I can't even...I just...I mean...ugh...you just...you can't fix stupid.

That's where my issue with Robin Thicke ends.

Cause you just can't fix stupid.

What I'm bothered by, is that women are OK with people like this, with entertainment like this, with statements like this. 

It's the status quo.

I said it myself earlier, at first glance, the video and the lyrics didn't seem 
out of the ordinary.

How sad.

This guy has a wife who defended this video.
A woman directed this video.

Why are we OK with this?
Cause the song is catchy?

Let me tell you, I'm weary.
I'm weary of being inundated with advertisements, messages, double-standards, social norms, and pop culture that objectifies women, and portrays us with no other purpose in life other than to sit there and look pretty.
And sexy.
And hot.
And that's it.

And we don't even care.
We don't even recognize it happening.

You wanna know what else really chaps my hyde?
The idea of gender stereotypes and gender roles.

I stumbled on a conversation with my coworkers last week when we started talking about lunches, and three of my coworkers (2 women, 1 guy) looked at me like I was crazy when I said I didn't prepare my husband's lunches for him.
Is that what I'm supposed to be doing?

Last Christmas my brother-in-law asked me what size jeans Nate wore so he could buy him a pair for Christmas.
I told him I didn't know what size Nate's pants were.
He said, "Don't you do his laundry?"
And then he looked at my like I was crazy when I replied, "No. I don't."

Here's the thing - Nate's a big boy. He can do his own laundry and he can make his own lunches. Just like I'm a big girl and I make my own lunches and do my own laundry.
Why is it expected that I would do that for him?
Cause I'm a woman?
Being a military man and spending 15 months overseas in war, he's had to take care of himself in ways none of us will ever have to take care of ourselves.
The guy can handle a load of laundry.

I'm really not even saying this to sound mean, or bitter, or even make Nate look bad.
These things don't come up, we don't fight about it. It's a non-issue
We both know who we married, which for him, means he does his own laundry.

I got married because I wanted a husband, not a child who I have to take care of and clean up after.
And I don't.
So why is it that our culture, and pre-determined gender roles expect me to?

Trust me, I'm rolling my eyes at me too right now.
I realize how ridiculous and cliche I sound.
But I'm not even going to apologize for it, because it's really been bothering me, this issue.

I'm tired of hearing about "rape culture" (which I won't even get into, but really, it's there) and having people excuse it; I'm tired of victim-blaming; I'm tired of hearing about women traveling overseas who are raped and then charged and held in prison for having sex outside of marriage; I'm tired of companies who can't sell a cardboard box without putting a half-naked woman in the ad; I'm tired of people making a big deal about working moms, and female breadwinners, and blaming the collapse of public education on mom who dared to "leave the house" and have career.

Society would rather you just parade around in your underwear for some tool-bag's music video.
It's so annoying.


I think that's all I can muster for one post.

I don't always go on a rant,
but when I do, it's a doozy.


  1. PREACH IT SISTA!!! I am so for this. Just because we are females does not mean we have to do all the "womanly" things they expect. Annoys me!

  2. Holla at your new blog design!!!! It looks amazing!!!

  3. {love the new blog design}
    I'm with you on the degrading part...so trashy and uncalled for...VERY frustrating to say the least!
    I have to admit i really like his new song. Its catchy and makes me want to dance. They lyrics though...gah the lyrics...just so sad.
    And the huge controversy over the video was the ORIGINAL video had the girls naked dancing in plastic, the one they have on tv now, they are "clothed"....but still.
    And i'd want to read/hear the whole interview that he said, i would HOPE he was being sarcastic in saying what he said about degrading women...but geeze that is an idiotic and horrible statement if there is no sarcasim.
    When i saw the video my cool points for the song went down, it was just so trashy and pointless. Aren't music videos SUPPOSED to put imagery to the song...what the song was trying to express to the listeners

  4. I was also totally shocked by this whole thing. I mean, really, what a nasty nasty person! It's even more sad that people are still willing to support his music even when they don't agree with him. Like, what? I am definitely not a feminist, but it's absolutely disgusting that we live in a culture that is so openly degrading to other people! p.s. I absolutely LOVE your new design. :)

  5. LOVE the new look lady! She did such an awesome job.

    Robin Thicke bothers me. He's not even cute! And it makes him even uglier that he says stuff like that...joking or not.

  6. That. Makes. Me. Want. To. Vomit.

    I mean, could he get any more discusting?!

  7. Seriously I'm with ya. The degrading is just disgusting. It irritates me. Disgusts me. Makes me so angry. Ugh!!!

  8. AMEN sister!!! I remember when that came up on the news, I also had to sheeeeck it out. What shocked me the most, was on live news TV he said HIS WIFE had the idea, and that when they did a PG13 version, HIS WIFE voted for the R version!!! SAYYYYY WHAAAA!!!!! Where are the women's standards these days!!! Get it girl!! love you!!!

  9. I totally agree. I felt the same way about Blurred Lines. I watched the video not thinking there was anything too crazy going on and I read the articles and even googled the lyrics to see if I was missing something. I had no idea what people were talking about with it being "rape-y". But when I saw that comment from Robin Thicke..ew. I was so disgusted and felt the same way. I think that the female body is used waaay too much in advertising and television. I don't hate HBO or Showtime or anything, but every time someone tells me they watch a show that is on one of those channels I always say, "I feel like there is way too much female nudity in these shows. It's as if they over compensate and do it because they can." And I have yet to meet one person who watches those shows and doesn't agree with me! Let's get back to the art of film and television and advertising and put the ta tas and the bum bums away! #wordvomit #whyamihashtaggingacomment



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