Monday, October 29, 2012

Woman-hood

It's no secret that I'm a nail-biter. 
Always have been, probably always will be no matter how many times my husband calls me "gross" for it.
Whatevs.

So the other night Nate and I were sitting around watching TV and I started biting my nails. He quickly noticed, and sharply quipped, 
"Why don't you just go get nail clippers?"
My answer was, 
"I don't have nail clippers."
To which Nate replied, 
"You don't have nail clippers? What kind of woman are you??"

One that doesn't own nail clippers? I wondered silently.

So since then, I got to thinking: really though, what kind of woman am I? Because when I really think about it, I feel like a have a lot of things working against me that threaten to take away my W card. Things that include, but are not limited to:

First and foremost, I hate cooking.
Last week we had Little Caesars twice in the time between Monday and Wednesday.
Curse you, Little Caesars, for your $5 Hot and Ready Pizzas.
Which, by the way...I have a bone to pick with Little Caesars. How come it never looks like this when I go pick up my pizza??? 

Nobody sings to me, dances for me, I can't find anyone dressed up like a Circus character, and most importantly, nobody lets me walk away with my pizza without paying.
Maybe I should re-think this whole cooking thing.

I don't find Robert Pattinson attractive...in the least bit
I feel like that's sort of blasphemous to say if you're a woman...but whatever. 
My husband's way hotter.

I like to watch jail shows
Is that weird??
A few of my favorites include Lockup: Raw, Hard Time, or any of the ones where they try and "flip" the gang prisoners who are already locked up, in order to get them to work with law enforcement.
It's fascinating, I tell ya.
Not very lady-like, but fascinating.

I can't wear pumps
True story: pumps never stay on my feet; they always flip off my heel. I feel like if I can't wear pumps...what kind of woman am I??

Kids freak me out
If I told you that I do not have baby fever...that would be the understatement of the year. 
I think I want kids...I think...eventually...I think. But there's nothing about babies or pregnancy or...pregnancy that appeals to me. 
No offense, of course, to those of you expecting...cause I do feel like all of you are 
expecting right now.
I think there's something in the water.

Now, puppy fever, on the other hand...

I don't blog about cooking, running, or post pictures 
of my outfits on a daily basis
Since I hate cooking (see #1), hate running (does that make me less of a woman too?), and don't have very cute outfits...none of these make it onto my blog. But if you take a look around the blogosphere...just about every other woman does. 
Whatevs. 
It ain't happening. 
That's a whole-lotta work just to make my blog more womanly.

And last but not least (per Nathan), I don't own nail clippers

I wonder if I mention that I like pedicures, Dancing with the Stars, the color pink, and One Direction, if that puts points back on my W card?
...actually scratch that last one; One Direction fan-hood might make me more of a girl than a woman...Let's go with Backstreet Boys instead. They're older, and more mature. And way better than One Direction anyway.

Or maybe I should just go buy some nail clippers and put this whole thing to bed all together.



5 comments:

  1. HAHAH!!! Oh Rissa!! You are so womanly!!! You LOve T-Swift!! You know just when to wear your pearls for the perfect outfit, you love Starbucks, you can pull off skinny jeans and heels (I have witnessed!!), you do crafts galore, and you have a green thumb!!! So shut the front door to Nathans face!! I am sending clippers for your christmas stocking :) xoxox

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    1. Hahaha!! Thanks Tyah! ...I'm totally looking forward to them nail clippers! Lol! Too funny!!

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  2. Love this post! I think you are a total WOMAN :)

    I pretty much HATE cooking too. Whoever thought it was relaxing is C-R-A-Z-Y! so stressful.

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    1. Thanks Ashley! Lol!!...I love when I discover other women who hate cooking, glad we're on the same page! Hahaha!

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  3. I can't wear pumps either!!! They ALWAYS slip off my heel so maybe it's how our feet were designed instead of making us "less" of a W! :)

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