Monday, April 4, 2016

#7

I told Nate earlier today, "I want to blog something about our anniversary but I don't know what to write what should I say" and he goes, "That F**k. This f**king guy." ...That helps, thanks Nate.

Anyway, guess what today is (or tomorrow depending on when this post goes up)? It's Nate and my 7th wedding anniversary. SEVENTH. We've been married for seven years. Holy smokes. I always struggle a little bit because every year I want to write like, an anniversary post but I never really know what to write because like, a mushy sort of lovey dovey post isn't really my style, there's always marriage advice but I feel like that comes off preachy sometimes, there's always a "things I've learned in seven years of marriage" idea but that's not always what other people learn in their marriages so again, maybe a little preachy? So long story short, here I am, blogging without something to blog about. The struggle, I tell ya. So I think what I decided is to maybe do a little bit of all of the above? Because YOLO it's my wedding anniversary and it's my excuse to write whatever the heck I want to celebrate seven years of marriage right?

So, I like the number seven - it's my favorite number because not only is it lucky number seven but Nate's lacrosse number in high school was #7
Good ju-ju for our 7th year of marriage right?! But before we got to seven years of marriage we went through like nine years of dating (I know, basically forever) and those nine years of dating didn't always have the best ju-ju so, here's seven reasons why we've broken up and almost didn't make it to seven years of marriage:

1.) It's not cool to have a girlfriend and be in a relationship when you're starting high school
2.) It's Thursday (Thursday is break-up day)
3.) Carissa doesn't like PDA and it hurts Nate's feelings that she won't kiss him in the hallway when the bell rings
4.) Carissa's tired of fighting
5.) Nate's tired of fighting
6.) Nate's too possessive and it's annoying
7.) Carissa's an asshole and hangs up on Nate all the time so as to avoid fighting and talking about feelings

Life is rough when you're a teenager, you guys. For real.

I'm happy to report that we got all of our fighting out in high school and the couple years shortly thereafter. We've been fortunate enough to both have different life experiences that offer different perspective...perspective enough to realize fighting is exhausting and we just don't have the energy for it. That said, my number one piece of marriage and/or relationship advice I could give to anyone would be to pick your battles. Pick. Your. Battles, people. It's cliche but true. Does Nate have to have his firearm in our Christmas pictures? Christmas pictures? Yeah I guess so. In the long run, does it really matter? No. That's what makes Nate, Nate. Firearms in Christmas pictures and all.
Does it drive me freakin nuts that he leaves lights on in all the rooms he's not dwelling in? Yes. Is it worth a fight? No. Does it take a lot of energy to just turn the light off yourself? No. Problem solved. Does Nate hate it when I go on cleaning sprees and reorganize stuff and he can't find any of his shit anymore? Yes, probably. Does he yell at me for it and pick a fight? No.

PICK YOUR BATTLES.

When Nate enlisted in the Army and eventually was deployed in Iraq I became very aware of time.
He was gone for five months in basic training, then came home for exactly four weeks before his unit deployed to Iraq and just like that he was gone for another 15 months. I remember specifically, when he was home on his two week leave, we were trying to hang out one day and I couldn't get a hold of him, his cell phone kept going to voicemail. I was getting upset and getting mad thinking he just wasn't answering my call. I ended up just going over to his house and it turns out it was the same thing - he tried calling me and it kept going to voicemail; it must've been something with the phone line, neither one of us couldn't get through. I only had two weeks with him, how could I have wasted a whole day just because I couldn't get a hold of him on his cell phone??!! I was mad and I had to say to myself, this isn't Nate's fault, this is the cell phone service - why spend a whole afternoon upset and mad? Snap out of it. You only have two weeks together. 

PICK YOUR BATTLES. 

I feel like marriage sometimes maybe gets a bad wrap (rep?). I hate when people make jokes about the "'ol ball and chain," or the "beginning of the end;" the truth is, marriage is the best. Is it hard? Yeah, sometimes. Is it the hardest thing I've ever done? No. Marriage is actually really fun. It's steady. It's reliable. It's trustworthy. It's comforting. It's bigger than you. 
You always have someone in your corner. Always. 

Junior high school seems like a long time ago, and it's weird to think it's been Nate this whole time, because my time with Nate doesn't feel like that long. The truth is, I don't really remember life before Nate. We went to Sunday School together, junior high and high school together. We grew up together, learned how to be in relationships together, matured together, he enlisted in the military, I graduated college; bought new cars, became adults...all together. 

The past 6 years of marriage have been pretty bad ass. But that's because Nate is pretty bad ass, and he makes me more bad ass. ...I'm lying, I'm not actually a bad ass at all, I just like to think that I am. I try really hard, but I just don't think "bad ass" is in the cards for me.

Nate's told me before that when he was overseas and they'd be conducting a mission, clearing houses and such, kicking down doors, they'd make sure everyone had someone's "6." That is, everyone was watching someone's back...they're 6. They were looking out for what's behind them, anything that might be trying to sneak up on them, attack them from behind when they're not looking, etc. Nate's had my 6 since since the 8th grade.

He's got my 6, I've got his: year 7


 photo Carissa_zps53ecb502.png

3 comments:

  1. Happy Anniversary!! Such a great post - love that you keep it real and you can truly see how much you love each other and what good friends you are (which I think is awesome and not everyone has!) xx

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  2. What a wonderful post sweetie! Happy Anniversary!!! And NO, Nate does not have to have his firearm in the Christmas picture when his mother-in-law photoshops it out! Tee hee hee!

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  3. Happy Anniversary! Awesome post Rissa! God Bless you & Nate Always! <3

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