Thursday, March 13, 2014

On Change

So Last week I alluded to the fact that I got a new job. I did. And I'm really excited about. But I'm also pretty nervous about it. It's not uncommon for someone to be nervous about a new job, but I'm afraid I take "nervous" to a whole new level. Cause here's the thing, I don't do change well. 

Some people welcome change, they thrive on it and constantly seek it out. You tell me things are changing and I get that knot in my stomach, my hands start to get sweaty, and I break out in a heat rash all over my chest and neck. Sidenote, fun fact about Carissa: when I get nervous I get really warm, and when I get really warm I get a heat rash (i.e. red splotches) all over my chest and neck; that's how you can always tell I'm nervous...cause I'm splotchy. Or drunk. Drunk makes me warm and splotchy too. 

As I was saying my goodbye's last Friday at my old job and to my now former coworkers, I got really emotional. I cried as we gave hugs and said the things you usually say when you leave a job, and then I cried all the way home from downtown Phoenix to the east valley, and ever since, I've been trying to figure out exactly why this tugs at my heart strings more than any other job I've left. 

I've decided it's because there was a safety there, at that job and with my teammates. We started with a group of four of us who were either still in grad school, or fresh out of it. So we were all the same age, all part of this brand new unit, and all learning at the same time. We all grew together at the same time too. It was my first "real" job in the sense that it actually had something to do with my education, my degree, and what I wanted in an actual career. Yet, because of the environment, the nature of the work, and my teammates, in my head I think I still associate it with being in school. Like, these are my classmates and we're working on a group project together and we have homework due at the end of the week. Except now we're getting paid for it. So now that I'm leaving and I have this new job to go to, I almost feel as if I'm entering the "real world" all over again. By myself. 

I won't have my buddy with me in the cube next to me anymore, and more importantly, I'm not gonna be able to sign my emails with "Sincerely, your next-cube-neighbor" anymore either.
And what good is a work email without a good pun included?? 

I'm excited for this new job. I'm excited to develop my career and learn something new. But that's the thing...it's new. New means it's different. Different means things are changing. And change, well, makes me splotchy. 

I remember when I was young and I was dreading the transition from jr. high to being a freshman in high school. I was talking to my dad about it in the car one day as we drove past my old school, and how I was scared and how it was gonna be sooooo different. Considering this was a recurring theme (e.g. switching elementary schools in the 4th grade, the transition from elementary school to jr. high, and so on and so forth), my dad only had one piece of advice for me; he just looked at me and said "Rissa, you're a teenager now. It's time to stop being afraid."

I always try and remind myself: Rissa, you're 27 now. It's time to stop being afraid.
It is. But it doesn't make it any less difficult.

After taking this entire week off before I start my new gig on Monday, I'm already feeling refreshed and ready to go. I have no idea what to expect in my new position, I'm just trying to not be afraid. Cause it's time to stop doing that. After all, what you seize is what you get ...pun intended ;)

How do you deal with change? Do you love it? Does it make you uncomfortable?



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23 comments:

  1. I'm excited for you new position and the new opportunities it will bring. Changing jobs is something I really struggle with. First I feel guilty for leaving the current one and then sad because I'm going to miss everyone there. And once I get past the last day, I start getting really nervous. I like change in the sense that I like rearranging my furniture at home or redecorating my house but I am not good with the unknown or not having everything perfectly planned out! I can't wait to follow along on your new adventure! Just remember you have the support of fellow bloggers, your friends and family, and always wine :)

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    1. Aww thanks Libby! I appreciate that!! And good call on the wine; I like the way you think ;)

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  2. look at us, being all punny! I am like that too, I hate change. it freaks me out and I think of every possible situation (we're talknig about that a lot today, haha) i totally understand but youll do awesome especially since youre REALLY a big girl now and big girls do big things! kbye. :)

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  3. so excited for you!!
    but i know change is challenging and scary and NEW.
    i'm excited to see how this unfolds - but remind yourself its ok to have multiple and conflicting feeligns! ;)

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  4. I'm not big on chnage either! But I know you can do this. It will all be good and wonderful by our going to dive on in to your new job and be fantastic at it. Just keep staying positive. That's the best advice I can give. Keep a positive attitude that it will all be good and you will in turn be positive and happier about things.

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  5. Makes me SO uncomfortable haha I don't get splotchy, but I don't do well with change at all. Good luck on your new job! It is never as bad as you think it will be!

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    1. Thanks Jules! I sure hope not! I know I'm probably worrying for nothing, but we're humans and we do that right?! ;)

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  6. I am always nervous about change too. And new jobs are just flat out nerve racking. It's nice that you took a week off in between and I am sure that you will do great next week.

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  7. I'm so excited for you!! But I know what you mean...it's hard. I am going to have to start looking for something a bit more challenging (and with a bigger paycheck) here soon - but I will miss my current co-workers so much! You get so comfortable, it's hard to leave. But we have to move on to bigger and better things, and you will have new friends and a new comfortable routine in no time!! :))

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  8. I hope you love, love, love your new gig!!! I'm so afraid of change too, so I know exactly how you feel. Good luck!

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  9. I hope your first day went better than you expected! And that you will come to like the people you work with as much as you did your old co-workers. Change is hard, but it's nice to get out of a rut, too.

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    1. True, it's always a little refreshing to start something new! Good point!

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  10. Change is the WORST! The bus driver had to explain to my mom once why I was having a panic attack and crying so hard on the ride home. He took a different route than I was used to and I flipped out. Things like this haven't changed. But congrats and hopefully you dont cry all the way home for a long time!

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    1. OMG Rhea! Hahaha!! This is hilarious!! "Things like this haven't changed"...glad to know I'm not the only one freaking out over stuff here, ha!! Thanks for the laugh!

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  11. I love it to a degree. Even when I know it's great I get really sad to say goodbye to the former. When I left my teaching career (which I couldn't wait to do) I bawled like a baby saying goodbye to everyone. The people are what makes it hard I think!

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    1. Yes! Definitely the people are what make hard! I'd have to agree with that!!

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  12. I love it! Congrats on the new job. I don't think that you ever stop being nervous or having fear. I'm starting a brand new career field this week. It's so scary and I have no idea if I am making the right decision.

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  13. I totally understand the nervousness...I just got a second job that has nothing to do with what I normally do so I've got all sorts of anxiety! I'm sure you'll do great though! You'll have to let us know how it goes! Good Luck on Monday!!

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  14. I'm really terrible with change as well! We have a few HUGE changes coming up in our lives soon and it is stressing me out like crazy. Terrible, but true. I'm excited for you as you begin this new journey and build your career! :)

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  15. I totally get where you are coming from. I probably have not gone for some jobs in the past because I want to stay where I am comfortable. Can't wait to hear about your new job!

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  16. You'll rock it out girlfriend! Sometimes the scariest things are the most fun in the end!

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  17. How exciting!!
    I'm sure you're going to do great things at your new job! Kill 'em girl!

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  18. i'm so proud of you!!! I want more details on this new job :)

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