Sunday, December 15, 2013

Let's Talk About Feelings


I’ve started this post a total of four times on four separate occasions over the last three weeks or so.
Each time it began different, continued differently, and was never finished.
Quite frankly, I really just don’t know what to say.

I don’t like to talk about feelings.
Unless its joy, happiness, or love, I don’t even really like to feel feelings.
Sadness, anger, frustration, sorrow, grief – I don’t want to feel those. But who really does? I usually do the best I can to avoid those feelings and I have to say, I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

But something’s happened, and it’s forced me to feel all these things and there’s no avoiding it this time.

I hate to be that person that talks a lot without actually saying anything. The one that tells you all about how upset I am, but not about what’s making me upset.
I am going to be that person though, because I also don’t believe in airing dirty laundry on the internet.
Especially when it’s not my laundry, nor my choices that soiled this perfectly clean load of laundry.
Even if that dirty laundry affects me and my world, it’s still not my place to hang it up on a clothes line for all the internet to see.

And that’s why I haven’t been around here lately.
Because I’m stuck feeling all these things that are breaking my heart, but I can’t come to this space and tell you about it, nor can I come to this space and act like nothing’s happened; there’s enough of that pretending going on already.

I don’t even really like to write about feelings…at least not for publication.
 I’m afraid it looks like a desperate cry for attention. 
I’m afraid this looks like a desperate cry for attention.
It’s not.
I just needed to tell my favorite blog friends why I haven’t been around.
I just needed to get this one post off my chest, for my own sake, before I can continue blogging and trying to be funny or creative or come up with post ideas again.

Because funny, and new ideas, and creativity is far from where my head is at.
Far from where my heart is at.
But my hope is that after I hit “publish,” and this post is out there for all of blog world to see, that I might be able to climb out of this blogging valley and get my inspiration back.
Get my blog back.
Because I miss it.


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17 comments:

  1. Hope things look up soon. It is hard to write when your heart is heavy.

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  2. Praying for you, pretty girl. Here of you need anything! I hope you're okay.

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  3. Love you lady cakes!!!! I hope everything is okay and I loved your Christmas Card!

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  4. That happened to me a while ago. I posted and somehow felt better. I did it in a way thought to talk about MY feelings not exactly what was happening. We got your back like a buttcrack girl!

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  5. I hate having feelings too, love you though. You know everyone will be right here to read your fantastic posts when you are good and ready!!

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  6. Feelings are so scary sometimes. Know that I'm here for you and so are a lot of other people if you need us! :)

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  7. This is so real and so raw, but most would never admit it. Thinking about you sweet, friend! Hang in there :)

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  8. Praying for you lady! I know it's so hard to go about normal life when something so upsetting happens. What's awesome is to see all of the supportive, fantastic ladies you have on here if you need anything :) Thinking about you! xx

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  9. You take all the time you need! Your blog friends will be here to welcome you when you come back! It's the hardest thing to pretend everything is fine when it isn't. Hang in there girl!

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  10. I've missed you!! We need to get our random emails back up and running! :)

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  11. girl...I am in the same boat.. I don't have my blogging mojo at all. We are taking a few days off after Christmas & I hope to come back. I've been reading tons of blogs (both big and small) and we are all going through this right now.,..if you ever need to meet up for a drink let me know.

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  12. sweetheart, i don't know what's got ya down, but all i can do is send positive thoughts your way and wish you so much happiness in the new year!

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  13. Aw Hun I hate hearing this :( it's so tough when people disappoint you. I know we just met, but if you ever want to get some coffee and just vent, let me know. Sometimes it's just nice to talk and get it all out, especially to a neutral party. I went through something that sounds pretty similar about a month ago and that really helped. Praying for you!

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  14. I've missed you so much, and I am so sorry for you. I wish I could give you a hug! Praying for you girly. It will work out. You are so creative and funny and full of life and I know you will get that back.

    xoxo

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  15. I wrote a post like this last week. I don't like talking about my feelings or airing my dirty laundry either, but sometimes it's therapeutic to do so. I will send up a prayer for you, Carissa!

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  16. Hey girl. I'm a new follower (why didn't I find you before?!) and this was the first post I've read of yours. But I can already tell that you seem like a strong and amazing woman, so I just wanted to say that you should keep your head up and know that there are so many people in the blogging community that would support you through your hard times! We all go through rough times, and its so hard to talk about, trust me I know- but sometimes talking about it is what we really need to do to get through it! Feel free to stop by my blog/shoot me an email or anything if you ever just need someone to talk to! :)

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