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Tuesday, September 11, 2018

College Football Twitter is the Best Kind of Twitter

Twitter can be a God-forsaken land full of bickering, fighting, woke millenials offended at the mere breath you breathe, annoying virtue-signaling celebrities, and political talking heads disguised as journalists. And also bickering - I can't remember if I included that. But you know what Twitter also has? Memes. And really funny people. And College football Twitter, I am convinced, has the most of those.

I joined Twitter back in 2012 at first, for blogging. All the big bloggers were like hey you need a Twitter to promote your blog and talk to other bloggers, and meet other bloggers, and get lots of followers! Not one prone to challenge authority I was like OK! Blogger Twitter got pretty boring fairly quickly and then I realized I could start following my favorite sports teams. And the reporters who covered them. And the beat writers who wrote about them. And the super fans who tweeted about them all the time. The most entertaining of these, was college football Twitter.

SO, all that to say - now that college football is BACK (hallelujer!), here are six of my favorite things about college football Twitter:

1.) Surrender Cobras. Surrender Cobra made it's official debut into Grantland's College Football Dictionary back in 2013, defined as: "(n.) the pose frequently adopted by fans witnessing unfortunate sports happenings, characterized by clasping hands on top of head as though one is under arrest and a slow, tense exhale of breath."

2.) Anything Jim Harbaugh. I am not a Michigan fan, but this man fascinates me. He recently told his players not to eat chicken because "it's a nervous bird." He's also down for Judge Judy:
Someone on Twitter recently said they'd pay big money to see Jim Harbaugh and Zack Greinke interview each other. I could not agree with this more.

3.) Rivalry pettiness. If there is one thing that keeps my bones cool in the summer and warm in the winter, it's petty rivalry nonsense.


4.) Faux Pelini. Faux Pelini was the fake Bo Pelini - parody account of the former Nebraska head coach. I am also not a Nebraska fan but this account and whoever runs it is absolutely hilarious. Please read his Twitter letter to Mike Riley after being fired, for example. Also, any thread between Faux and the Belk Bowl is must see TV Twitter. You can start with this one.

5.) #PAC12afterdark. "PAC12 after dark" became a thing when weird things started happening in the PAC12 during late games - late for the rest of the country anyway (west coast best coast!). Triple overtimes, bizarre calls by refs, anything your heart desires - it can happen during PAC12 after dark.
It's been described as: "It occurs often, but is largely misunderstood by the population that sees it most closely. In person and on TV, it’s a beautiful mess of Hail Marys and 80-point football games that only come out when the sun goes down. When you feel the urge to go to bed, the PAC is just getting started, people!

6.) Herman Edwards. This man is a walking meme. Non-stop entertainment. And CFB Twitter is running with, and I am here for it. Please watch this video someone made to the The Office intro music when he first got hired. Bonus - we've won both games played so far this year so we're still undefeated and Herm Edwards has a 1.000 NCAA career winning percentage whereas Nick Saban has a winning percentage of .780 so basically we want 'Bama (JK no we don't it's only been two games but please let us have this moment)

College football fans (particularly the ones on Twitter) are just really funny and every week I am amazed at their creativity - the memes, the gifs, the insults, the trash talk. Keep it up, college football fam - Twitter is a better place because of you.


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