Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Things I Think About on My First Day of Work

Alright people, I have good news to report: I made it through my first two days of of my new job. It's true, I started the new gig and have gotten through two days without the world coming to an end. You all were right. I had nothing to worry about. That's what the blog world is for right? I come and tell you how worried I am about things, you tell me I'm silly, I don't believe you, and then it turns out you're right anyway. Good job guys, you win again.

I have a few housekeeping items I want to let you all know about before we get much further:
1.) Totally not related to this post, but puh-leaaaaase go HERE, read the post, check if you are a no-reply blogger, and then fix it. Some of you might be like, "what the heck is a no-reply blogger??" It's when you have your blogger profile set up so that I can't reply to your comments via email. I didn't even know such a thing existed when I started blogging until a blog friend let me know I was one...so now I'm returning the favor. You can thank Haley Joel Osment for this Pay it Forward moment...

Also, you veteran bloggers aren't exempt either cause Google+ keeps switching you back and forth. You didn't know Google+ was switching you back and forth?? It is. And it's just as much of a pain in my ass as it is yours. Stop trying to make Google+ happen OK Google? Am I right or am I right? 

2.) Also, along with a new job rocking my world and creating all these changes in my life, so too has my blog reading routine changed. See, I used to do all my blog reading in the morning at work (cause why read blogs at home when you can get paid to read them at work??), but I'm thinking that's not gonna fly at the new sitch. So in the meantime, my Bloglovin' feed will get up to hundreds of unread blogs until I figure out when the heck to catch up on all your lives. Forgive me.

I told you I had a "few" housekeeping items to touch on, but it turns out I only had two. When I was a kid, my mom explained to me that a "few" means 3 or more, and a "couple" means 2. So I lied. I only had a couple housekeeping items for you versus the few. Forgive me.

Moving on.

As I was going about my first day at work on Monday I was trying to make note of the actual thoughts that came to my head...for no other reason than I've been low on things to blog about lately so I thought that might make for an interesting post. I'm probably wrong but I'm gonna do it anyway...

Things I Think About on my First Day of Work

"If this 'temporary badge' doesn't work and the door doesn't open for me when I scan it, I'm gonna feel realllly stupid."

"You call your IT desk SPOC??...so.many.jokes."

"Is it too soon for a smiley face in this email?"

"Microsoft Lync...so like, AIM for adults who work in an office?"

"These microwaves aren't in an enclosed area. I wonder if people will be mad when I heat up my fish from last night..."

"Do I look as "new" as I feel?"

"She is sitting right next to me...do I have bad breath?"

"SWAG!! Stuff We All Get. ...I miss Michael Scott."

"I wonder if Instagram will load better than it did at my old office."

"Will my Duck Dynasty Poster fit in this cube?"

"'Employee Ergonomics Program?'...I thought "ergonomics" was a made up word"

"Will I look lazy if I ask about the telecommuting policy?"

"This floor is really squeaky. I hope people don't think I'm...tooting."

"I wonder if I should just go to lunch or if I should wait until someone says it's OK"

"Does it make me look bad if she asks me, 'Do you have any questions?' and I don't have any?"

"I miss Evan."

"I miss Quan."

"Will I look too eager if I bring in stuff to decorate my cube with tomorrow?"

"Wait, what?"

"If this were DES Evan would be sitting over there."

"Praise the Lord for electronic time sheets. ...We're not in state government anymore."

"There's a gym here? As in, on site??...We're not in state government anymore."

"That guy's wearing cuff links...and she's wearing jeans. I'm confused."

"Do I have any wine left at home?"

"I miss Evan."

"They're all typing during this meeting. Should I be typing something?? Did I miss something?? Something worthy of typing??"

...and so on and so forth. I could go on, but I'll spare you the pain. Cause the thoughts that run through my head on a first day of a new job are painful. Way too many of them.

And with that, I'm out-y like a scout-y, cause tonight I broke my rule of no wine during the week and I have a serious case of wine eyes right now...as in...must.go.to.sleep.

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  1. I swear this is me all the days. And also one time my manager called me Kailey Joel Osment........... Awk.

  2. OMG you are so funny! I can just imagine you thinking all these things!! And your Mom was right (as usual) - a few is 3 or more, and a couple is 2. Listen to your Mother!!!! (P.S.: I love you sweetie)

  3. I've never had an office job before so this post was rather hilarious to me. Hahaha. Love it!

  4. Oh god, I hate the first like days/month/6months at any new career. I am normally a laid back fun person who never shuts the hell up but for those first few/couple (whatever your mother prefers) months I can't keep it together. I am the most awk, shy weirdo in the room. . . afraid to speak in fear of utter humiliation. Then 6 months later I'm dancing on tables in the break room. But seriously, looking at a possible career move and I'm dreading the "New" phase!! Great post. :)

  5. Haha! glad the new job is going well! I tend to break my "no wine during the week" rule A LOT!

  6. Question. Am I a no reply blogger? Text me if I am :)

    And congratulations! I'm so glad you recorded your random thoughts, this was definitely an interesting post, and I'm cracking up :) Love first days!

  7. Bahahah @ the bad breath one!!!! I've trained people with bad breath so I always get paranoid!

  8. Thank you so much for that link!!!! I didn't even know it was possible!

  9. So glad you had a great start to your new job! Also, the fact that you quoted Michael Scott and allowed a GIF with his face on it to grace this blog, I love you even more. Jake and I just finished re-watching the whole series again and I am just basking in the amazingness that was that final episode. Sigh.

  10. haha glad you made it and I had soooo many of those same thoughts my first day!



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