Things That Make Me Cringe

Because all the creativity I could muster today is to make a list.

Things that make me cringe:

Justin Bieber

Black jelly beans

A unibrow

When the basketball commentators say the word "penetrate"

When the narrator on Gold Rush uses the term "glory hole"

Too many raisins in my trail mix and not enough M&Ms

My alarm in the morning

When someone says "epic"

When someone quotes Charlie Sheen. 

No, you're not "winning." If you're still quoting Charlie Sheen you're in fact, losing.

These kinds of dogs:

No offense if you have one, of course.

His hair:

No man should have a top-knot that looks better than mine.

His head:

...It's just so long

The LA Dodgers (don't hate me Jeff, if you're reading this)

Tampon commercials. 

75% of Facebook users

The Shamwow guy

Car dealership commercials where they talk with their hands for no good reason and it looks awkward and forced

Congress

The UofA 

Political correctness 

Hashtags on Facebook 

Trying to end a blog post. I'm really bad at it.

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What makes you cringe??

My Blogging Niche...or Lack Thereof

Before I begin this post, I would just like to say when I did a Google Image search for "niche" I got a bunch of these things. This is a niche?? Or a urinal?? Cause to me, it looks a little bit like a urinal. But whatever. Moving on.

I don't talk a lot about blogging here; mostly because I just assume there's nothing I could offer you bloggers that you don't already know. And plus I don't think I take it that seriously I guess. I don't sit down and write my posts for the week in advance, I don't know how to do a give-away, I'm not big enough to offer sponsorships; heck, I don't even feel an obligation to post five days a week. If I have nothing to write about, I don't write. 

I blog because it's fun for me. Writing is fun for me. 

So I never really thought much about the idea of having a "blogging niche." I was always of the opinion that the best blogs were the ones with all sorts of content. However, the more posts I read lately about having a blogging niche, the more I feel obligated to find one.

The problem is: I don't have one.

I'm certainly not a fashion blog, cause I'm pretty sure it would end up looking something like this:

...And that's just not a good look for anybody. Myself included.

You all know how much I hate cooking, so a food blog is out of the question.

A fitness blog is a definite no-no since I'm realllly ugly when I work out and I'm not brave enough to take selfies at the gym (and let's face it, if you don't take a picture of yourself working out, it's like the workout didn't happen, am I right?). What am I saying? I don't even work out at a gym.

I can't even be a beauty blog cause I'm too cheap to buy the newest and greatest $50 serum of some sort and I've been using the same eye shadow palette for the last two years. 

Does make-up go bad?...See, if I were a beauty blog and you asked me that question I wouldn't even be able to give you an answer. I'd have to refer you to YouTube or Wikipedia or something. 

So where does that leave me in the blogging world and all its niches?? 

Homeless, that's where.

When people in real life find out that I have a blog the first thing they usually ask me is, "Really?! What do you blog about?!" I usually answer with, "I dunno, nothing important" and quickly try and change the subject, because for some reason when I'm forced to talk about my blog in real life I get really embarrassed. But when I think about it, I'm like, really though, what do I blog about??

My dogs.

My love for Harry Potter, and wine, and macaroni and cheese, and wine.

Fun things I do on the weekend.

My...

My...

I...

I guess I write about myself on my blog. 

Does this make me a narcissist?? 

All this to say, if I want to grow my blog and give it real direction, do I need to find a niche? Or maybe I create my own niche-less niche in blog-land? 

The niche for the niche-less. I'm gonna make that a thing.

Cause anything else isn't looking too promising for me so far.   

True Life: I'm Too Sensitive

It's true. I've been thinking about it lately and I've come to the conclusion that I'm too sensitive. Here's a few reasons why:

If there's no exclamation point in your text message my first thought is "Omg what's wrong?"

If there's no exclamation point in my text message I feel like I'm being rude.

If there's a "Please [insert task here]" in a work email, without a smiley face, I'm gonna think I'm in trouble. When you really think about it, the word "please," while intended to convey politeness, is actually one of the more bossy, kind of demanding words, no? 

If someone writes a vague, passive aggressive Facebook status, and coincidentally it happens to be an offense I've committed at some point in my life I'm gonna think you're writing it about me and get all concerned about it like, "Oh my gosh is she writing that about me?? Did I upset her?? I hope she's not mad at me!"

I know. I'm ridiculous.

The second I honk my horn at someone on the road I instantly feel bad about it.

One of my fears in life is mean comments on my blog. 

#firstworldprobs

My feelings get hurt when Nate and I come home from work, at the same time mind you, and the dogs run past me to greet Nate. Like, really hurt.

In light of today's revelations, I feel so bad for Ron Weasley (ahem, a fictional character) after JK Rowling revealed she thinks Hermione should've married Harry instead (ahem, also fictional characters). There's concern that Ron wouldn't have been able to "really make her happy" in the long run. Sure, pile on the ginger. 

Some call it a slow news day, I call it a paradigm shift in the Potter-verse. 

Are you too sensitive?? Tell me I'm not the only one with exclamation point thing...

Weekend Wrap-up: This is Not a Super Bowl Post

Is it safe to come out? As in, come back out onto social media and the interwebs in general? Cause I was avoiding it for basically all of Sunday cause I just couldn't take all the Super Bowl trash talking in all of my news feeds. Originally I was rooting for Denver because my first impression of Seahawks fans (and Richard Sherman) wasn't a good one, but it turns out Denver fans aren't much better because they're still trying to talk shiz even though they just got whooped. Whooped bad.

But either way I don't really care cause I did some other fun things this weekend.

Things like, my very first blate with Jessa from Life of a Sports Wife, and Leanne from Being Jane!

  Ignore all the red-eye that's in this photo, by the way.

We coordinated a meet-up for this round of Cara Box swaps, which were paired by state and I was so happy to finally meet these ladies in person!

After the meet-up Jessa and her husband actually had tickets to the Suns game they weren't able to use, so she was kind enough to offer them to Nate and I, so off we went to the Suns game!

Thanks Jessa for the awesome tickets!

The Suns are my jam right now and I just can't get enough of them. All of them. I can't even really pick a favorite player. They're the biggest surprise in the NBA this season and fortunately we were able to watch them win their 5th game in a row. It was also fan appreciation night. I felt pretty appreciated, for the record. They were doing some cool promotions and give-aways for the occasion, including the lady sitting in the row directly in front of us who randomly was handed a back pack full of Suns goodies including a Jeff Hornaceck (Suns Head Coach) bobble-head. 

I didn't feel so appreciated then.

Where's my bobble-head?? I want a back pack full of Suns SWAG - which, for all you Office fans out there, is Stuff We All Get. But alas, I didn't. Maybe it should be called SOSOUG instead - Stuff Only Some Of Us Get, cause I'm pretty sure I walked away from the game sans bobble-head.

But as a consolation prize I did get this grainy, blurry, iPhone pic:

It's OK though because I love how orange my shirt is.

Go Suns!!

So, who's ready for Monday?! ...Normally I would answer, "not me," to this question, but since Monday means it's just another day closer to me being in Vegas next weekend, watching Shania Twain live in concert, I think I'm OK with this Monday rolling around.

T-6 days!

2014 State of the Union Address: Stuff You Need to Know. Kind of.

It's that time of the year people. And I know what you're thinking: Super Bowl?! Awards season?! Winter Olympics?!...No, no, and no.

It's time for another edition of the State of the Union address! 

Brought to you by the United States Constitution.

You say you're not looking forward to the State of the Union Address (herein referred to as SOTU)?? What's not to look forward to? It's like, the Super Bowl of government and politics!

I would offer you a fantastic drinking game of sorts for the occasion but since drinking games aren't really my thing, I don't have much to offer you. I mean, you can only drink wine so many ways (drink, chug, sip, shot of, etc. etc.) am I right? Just, when you hear things like:

"Let me be clear" 

"Bipartisanship"

"middle class"

"fair share"
"Health plan"

...take a drink of your wine. Red, white, sparkling, rose, whatever it is, drink it.

And rest assured...if you like your hangover you can keep it!

...Cause you built that!

I've heard that the President and the First Lady can invite their own personal guests to the shindig, their own VIPs. You wanna know what else I heard?? BO was so impressed by a young kid who invented a marshmallow launcher, that he got invited to the SOTU. A marshmallow launcher. 

Umm hello?? What's a girl gotta do to get an invitation over here?!

I taught my dogs to high-five me. I cooked macaroni and cheese in my crock pot last week. I know all the words to the Barenaked Ladies' One Week; that's a lot of words and to sing them really fast is really impressive and I should get an invitation to the SOTU for it.

Whether my invitation was lost in the mail or not, there's a few things both you and I can expect to hear about in the SOTU:

Yours truly, BO will probably mention "Executive fiat" at some point or another. He's talking about executive order, and the bypassing of Congress in order to get things passed...not the tiny, European car.

Don't get it twisted.

Also, you'll probably hear BO talk about immigration, more specifically a "comprehensive immigration plan," and that if Congress can just bring him a bill, he'll sign it right away...which is a relief considering all the trouble Justin Bieber's gotten himself into and he's Canadian. What would the United States be if Bieber gets deported, or heaven forbid, can't get his work Visa renewed now that he's a criminal??

...better. That's what it would be.

BO might even bring back the climate change talk cause this Polar Vortex is turning out to be one heck of an ess-oh-bee, no?? Good thing I live on the west coast.

I'm pretty sure infrastructure and "shovel-ready jobs" were so 2009, but I'm thinking it might make a comeback in the SOTU 2014 in light of everything going on in New Jersey. Like traffic jams and stuff. Traffic jams, bridge closures, e-mail scandals, infrastructure, it's all kind of the same thing right?

Does BO concern himself with things going on in New Jersey?

If there's one important lesson to be learned here my friends, it's to always stay hydrated!

I'd hate to see another watergate in 2014.

Now go be productive citizens of your community and watch the State of the Union Address, and drink all the wine you can your paws on.
You're gonna need it.

A Bach Bash

This weekend was a good one. Mostly because I spent Saturday celebrating my dear friend Mckenzie, who, normally at this time in my post I would be like, "...blogs over at [insert blog name here]," BUT she never got her blog off the ground so I can't really do that. Feel free to make her feel bad about it.

Anyway, Ms. Mckenzie is getting married in March and we celebrated her bachelorette party this weekend. I've known Mckenzie for years, since Jr. High when we were cheerleaders together (go Jags!). Here's us at our high school graduation (go wolves!):

I'll try and find the photos of us from Jr. high, jumping on my trampoline during sleep overs, wearing slippers, flannel pajama pants, and braided pigtails. Get ready. They're good.

Anyway, since we're not in jr. high anymore our idea of recreation has changed, so instead of jumping on the trampoline all night, we started her bachelorette night painting and drinking wine. I've dubbed it:

Where was I when we were trying to think of a good hashtag for all our Insta photos?? Oh yeah...I was there, I just couldn't think of anything good. Too much wine maybe? 

Hopefully Mckenzie doesn't get mad at me for this photo....I think it's really funny so I used it. You're allowed to roast the bride-to-be right? Does posting embarrassing photos count as "roasting??"

We went to the Carrie Curran art studio in Scottsdale, AZ for all you local bloggers. It was fantastic! You can bring your own wine and snacks, and you leave with a fantastic piece of art painted by yours truly...yourself!

The bride-to-be!

Any time we took a picture I had to tell people, "Grab your wine glass so it doesn't look like I'm the only one drinking." ...I wasn't, for the record. They were too. 

CHS alums! (C-H-A-N-D-L-E-R...chandler, let's go!)

I was really nervous to do the painting thing. For some reason paint just makes me nervous. It's so permanent. To which my other dear friend, Jennica replied, "Umm have you ever used permanent marker?? That's permanent too. It's the same thing." 

Fine. Whatever. Not all of us are brave enough to go off-script and paint the Denver skyline in lieu of a couple trees, OK Jennica??

She has her Broncos and the Superbowl on the brain so I guess I can't blame her.

My final product:

Not to shabby eh? I think for my next work of art I'll have Mckenzie sit for 3 hours while I paint a portrait of her.

Kidding. That'd be weird. 

Behold: the ladies of Mckenzie's Bach Bash and our paintings!

After we finished our masterpieces we headed out to get ready and go to dinner.

Old Town Scottsdale was on the agenda, and I proudly wore my "Sassy Pants" button Mckenzie gave me. She's knows me too well. 

Her button, naturally, was "bride" so there was really no guesswork there.

The whole day/night was fantastic and I'm so happy I got to share in the bach bash festivities! Especially since Mckenzie was there for mine...

Can't wait for her big day!

Burning Hockey Questions I Need Answers For

Lately my husband and I have been watching a lot of hockey. Truthfully, I'm really only watching it because of him. Nate's a hockey guy, and that's actually the one sport that I really know nothing about. So, in trying to learn the game and watching them play, there's a few questions that I've been wanting to ask: 

What is "off sides" and is it the same "off sides" as in football?

You're allowed to punch people in the face but you sit in the penalty box for tripping someone??

Who are they calling? Is there a bullpen somewhere I don't know about?

What's a Canuck?

Any time there's an icing call it makes me want, well, icing. 

How can you physically keep your eye on the puck with how fast it moves?

How do those referees not get trampled to death?

...or maybe they do?

Toronto Maple Leafs? Is that a typo?

If this is women's hockey...can I play?

...and where can I find a bottle of champaign that big? Or is that a Canadian thing? 

On a scale of Jennifer Lawrence to Justin Bieber, how controversial is Instant Replay in the sport of Hockey?

Enforcers - they play hockey, or their only job is to fight? 

Puck puck bo buck banana fana fo....

What's a Hat Trick, and does it involve Magic?

Lions play hockey???!!

(source)

Is the Flying V still a thing?

One thing I do know for sure:
Ducks fly together

Linking up with Sarah for Fan Friday!