Alright
well, this is a little bit weird here because this is the first time I’ve
written a blog post since mid-July. Today is October 1st. I’m not
for sure, but I think that might be the longest I’ve ever gone between posts
here at T is for Townsend. I’ve actually come here a few times throughout the
summer and started writing some things but nothing ever came to fruition. The
truth is I’ve been having a little bit of an internal struggle over here with
this blog.
I would get
the bug to write, so I’d start, and then I’d stop because I just literally
couldn’t think of anything to say or couldn’t get in a good flow. I’d chalk it
up to writer’s block.
More time
would go by and I’d be like, ‘oh hey look
at all this fun stuff I’ve done this summer let’s write about all of it!’
but then I’d start going through all my pictures and I would get overwhelmed
with sorting through photos before I’d even begin writing. Which sounds silly,
but maybe not because my mom told me a story this summer that goes like this:
she used to color in those adult coloring books all the time. She ended up
stopping because she said she had too many colored pencils to choose from. She would get so overwhelmed with the amount of options she had, that she couldn't decide on what colors to use so she just stopped coloring. This resembles my
problem in that her colored pencils are my photos. I had so many photos to sort
through and choose for a post, it became overwhelming so I just stopped
posting.
I would also get to
cruising old blogs I used to follow and suddenly feel inspired so I’d sit down
and try to write something, but then I’d start thinking about how much the blog
world has changed and I’d get discouraged and self doubt would creep in and I’d
be like why bother? Who’s reading your blog anyway? What other blogs are there
to follow anymore anyway? What's even the point of your blog? Do other people
even really blog anymore? Where do I find all the bloggers? Where did they go?
How deep do you have to dig through sponsored posts and carefully placed paid advertisements to
find the actual blog posts anymore? There’s a way bigger web of questions weaved
in my head but I’ll stop there and spare you the confusion. Bottom line is, I’d
ask all these questions of myself and talk myself out of coming back to this
space because I had decided in that moment that there was no point in it.
A few times
thereafter I’d think about how I miss my blog and miss posting regularly but
then I’d think about actually sitting down and coming up with a post and I just
wouldn’t feel inclined to actually do the work. I thought maybe that post back in
July was it for me. That blogging and writing just wasn’t my thing anymore.
So,
to test this theory and see if I was really ready to close this chapter, or if
I was just in a weird headspace, I started
writing in a journal every night. Now, before you roll your eyes and be like
seriously Carissa how old are we how cliché are we going to be right now – I
totally acknowledge that a journal sounds terribly cheesy and cliché and almost
kind of cringy but I can't call it a diary cause that's even more cringy. I started writing in a journal because I
remembered back in college I took a creative writing class and we’d always
start the first 20 minutes of class just writing in your journal. No prompts,
no rules, no requirements just kind of write whatever comes to your mind. I
decided to do this on my own every night wondering if it would get my creative
juices flowing, or help shake the rust off, or remind me what it feels like to
actually write something. No pressure to be clever, or creative, no photos to
sift through, just write down the thoughts that come to your head.
While I was
in the midst of creating this habit I happened to read an article that was
about setting boundaries and rules around the use of technology in families, for
example, how much time we spend on our phones, how long we stare at the myriad of screens and devices we have, stuff like that. The author mentioned how they strategically place
things around their house that promotes creation vs consumption for their kids;
things like crayons, drawing paper, books, musical instruments, etc. This stood
out to me – the idea of creation vs. consumption and I really got to thinking
about it.
This blog used to be my creativity. It was where I’d come to write
things, to put ideas into a blog post and create something. In the absence of something
like that I thought, what kind of things then, have I been creating? Nothing
really. I’ve mostly just been consuming. Consuming news, mindlessly scrolling
through social media, keeping up on my favorite tv shows, watching too much
baseball, etc.
So long story short (lol that was not that short but whatever),
I’ve been wondering like, maybe writing and blogging might not necessarily be
what I feel like doing lately, but maybe it’s what I should be doing. Maybe
it’s what I need to do. Creativity over consumption. That’s going to be my new
mantra and I’m going to start first with this blog so bear with me as I shake
off the dust or take too long to sort through my photos.
Speaking of photos here's one of me and Gunther snuggling to make up for all the words in this post.
Meet you back here in less than 2.5 months!
