Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Blogmas Day 16: New Girl: Christmas Episodes Ranked

Back in November I ranked all the New Girl Thanksgiving episodes so if you thought I'd let December go by without doing the same with the Christmas episodes you would be wrong. 


There is surprisingly, a meager four Christmas episodes out of New Girl's seven seasons. Here are my favorites, from least fav to most fav. 

4.) Season 6 Episode 10 Christmas Eve Eve
The group tries to cancel Christmas but at the behest of one Jessica Day, they instead decide on a Secret Santa exchange. Winston and Schmidt argue over the use of aliases when Schmidt accidentally refuses a package that was to be delivered to Rear Admiral J. Garage-ah-roo (that is the phonetic spelling because who the hell knows how Winston spelled this in his mind). A "classic Schmidt and Garage-ah-roo mess around" ensues in order to make sure CeCe (the name Winston drew) has a gift for the exchange. 

Jess attempts to fly Nick's new girlfriend Reagan into town as his gift but miscommunication ensues and they end up getting into a fight about it. Ultimately, Jess is accidentally left out of the Secret Santa exchange all together when she forgets to put her own name in the draw back in October. When there is no gift for Jess the roommates end up miraculously arranging a gospel choir and Darlene Love performance for Jess in the street complete with falling snow (shredded receipts).

Funny notes about this episode: 
-Schmidt and Winston unable to decide if they love or hate brick and mortar stores. V relatable in 2020.
-Nick can't pronounce "cashmere" ("katch-Mer")

As I mentioned in my Thanksgiving ranking, this episode is at the bottom not because it's a bad episode, but because it drew the least amount of lol's for me. 

3.) Season 4 Episode 11 LAXmas
In this episode the roommates head to the airport together to spend time with each other before they all fly out to their respective destinations. Jess's boyfriend Ryan invites her to London to spend Christmas with his family. She finds out his family is wildly wealthy and she has a major complex about it. It's a mad house at the airport when all flights are cancelled due to a midwest snow storm. 

Jess gets everyone's tickets rearranged and taken care of with the exception of Nick and Winston, for whom she has to haggle with the ticket counter employee. It does not go well. Nick and CeCe sneak into the first class lounge and Schmidt ends up telling off a slimy old dude after he makes a pass at CeCe. It is HILARIOUS as he carries on about how he's from Long Island and this man is a "dirty old bitch." Jess ends up befriending the grumpy ticket counter employee at the airport bar, they drink together sharing their misery and he ends up helping her and her friends get on their flights. When Jess chickens out and doesn't get on her flight to London the group comes together to make sure she does. This is a sweet episode and you love to see everyone come together for our queen Jessica Day.

If nothing else, please just watch this episode to watch Schmidt tell off the old creepy dude and carry on about his Long Island roots. It will earn you some good lol's.

2.) Season 2 Episode 11 Santa
This episode begins with Winston getting a cranberry stuck in his ear. The gang agrees to try and hit up all the Christmas parties they can in an effort to spend time together before Nick leaves for Chicago. Jess wants to go out to all said parties in an effort to stop thinking about Sam and ends up running into him at the first party. Sam tells her he wants her back, she doesn't know what to do about it so she tells him she's in love with Winston, who still can't hear due to aforementioned cranberry stuck in his ear and hilarity ensues. Nick attempts to impress his stripper girlfriend by trying to prove how sexually uninhibited he is. It does not go well. Jess changes her mind about Sam and the gang all ends up at the hospital (where he works) so that she can chase him down and get him back. 

Lol's:
-Nick attempts to give his girlfriend a lap dance who's like, "puh-lease." She then attempts to give Nick a lap dance until Schmidt marches over and is like "puh-lease" and proceeds to give Nick a lap dance. SO FUNNY. 
-The gang gets pulled over on the way to the hospital and believe that "black Santa" has just let them off without a ticket. At their belief this officer is truly black Santa, Jewish Schmidt declares he is "so sick of hanging out with Christians." 😂

1.) Season 1 Episode 9 The 23rd 
In this episode the roommates attend Schdmit's work Christmas party where Schmidt is playing the part of sexy Santa. Prior to, Jess's boyfriend Paul tells her he loves her to which she replies "thank you." She feels bad and doesn't know what to do about it. After a conversation with Nick she decides she has to break up with him. Later, Nick accidentally spills the beans to Paul thinking Jess already talked to/broke up with him. Nick gets locked outside on the patio with the both of them as they break up and hilarity ensues. "Mom I can't talk right now I'm in a real weird situation" -Nick. Meanwhile, Winston befriends Schmidt's boss's son and gets offered a job as his nanny. Schmidt stands up to his boss telling her he doesn't want to be sexy Santa any longer and weird sexual tension commences. Nick ends up missing his flight home as the group takes Jess to Candy Cane Lane on the way home to see the Christmas lights. The lights are all off because it's late so the gang starts yelling at the homes for them to turn their lights on. It's a Christmas miracle when it works and Jess is happy after her breakup, and so is everyone else.

This is my favorite episode because the scene where Nick is stuck outside with Jess and Paul as they break up is so. funny. So awkward, so funny just...*chef's kiss.

Please tell me you've watched New Girl by now?! What are your favorite episodes? Who is your favorite roommate? LET'S DISCUSS. 



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