Blogmas Day 4: Hallmark Christmas Movies are Predictable as Hell but I Will Never Stop Watching Them

Hallmark Christmas movies have been a staple in Christmas culture (Christmas culture? Is that a thing or did I just make that up?) for some time now. Whether you love them or hate them (or perhaps a little bit of both?), come October they are comin' in hot and they are not leaving until January. So buckle up betches, it's Hallmark season!

I'm a little embarrased to say I only just discovered the Hallmark Channel no joke like, two years ago. But since then it has been a joy and a true Christmas honor to spend much of my free time parked on my couch watching a big city career woman fall for a rugged family man in a quaint Christmas village and live happily ever after. Or a big time advertising executive return home to his small, rural Christmas town on assignment only to fall back in love with his high school sweetheart under the mistletoe. Wash, rise, repeat.

Are they cheesy, cringey, and predictable as hell? Yes. Does this make me want to ever stop watching them? The answer to that is a resounding no.

I have to be strategic about my Hallmark movie binge sessions though, because if Nate is anywhere near the television and catches a 5 minute glimpse of one of these holiday cinematic masterpieces he literally asks me, "Why do you watch this shit?" I'll tell you why, folks: because Hallmark movies are lovely, ok?? And they are warm, and they are cozy, and festive, and romantic. And because they make me feel good. Every single movie ends with a happy ending. With 40 (forty!) new premieres this year, I don't know what your math skills are like but that's a total of 40 happy endings (forty!) to enjoy and silently say to yourself, "Awwwww!"

Sure Hallmark movies are not realistic, creative, or complex but you know what else they are not? Controversial. Political. Tense (unless of course you want to count the slow burn of a budding small- town romance heeyyoo!). And I don't know about you but controversy, politics, and tension are three things I prefer not to have running amok in my Christmas season. No m'am. I can't and I shan't have any of that.

But I will have an hour and a half of Kellie Pickler and her sweet southern accent, paired nicely with a predictably-timed duet by the piano, for example.

K gotta go Christmas in Rome is on in a few minutes and I haven't seen that one yet.

Happy Hallmarking!