Monday, May 23, 2016

Let's Flamingle

Alright guys, this weekend was the weekend we've all been waiting for. ...by "we" I mostly just mean me, my friend Sarah, my friend Charlene, or any of her other close friends that were attending her bachelorette party. So I guess, it wasn't necessarily the weekend you all had been waiting for, but it was the weekend I had been waiting for. And probably Charlene too since it was her party. And also Sarah, cause we're on maid of honor duty together and we put the whole dang thing together (#humblebrag). That was the really long way of saying, OMG THIS WEEKEND WAS CHARLENE'S BACHELORETTE PARTY AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! Can I tell you all about it? Hint...the answer is gonna be yes because this is my blog and this is what I came here to write about tonight.
The theme of the weekend was "Charlene's Last Flamingle" and let me tell you, we flamingle'd the shit out of this weekend. We rented an Air B&B for the weekend and flamingle'd it up Friday - Sunday. Also yes, 'flamingle' is a real word and can also double as a verb. 

Friday Sarah and I got off work early, packed up what looked like a month's-worth of baggage, food, decorations, and probably like a year's worth of alcohol (Luv u, Costco) and headed out to Phoenix to move in for the weekend. A bachelorette party brings a whole new meaning to "Pinot Grigio Friday" so Sarah and I didn't waste any time pouring ourselves some wine pre-5pm while we set the place up. Girls started arriving, pizza started baking, more wine kept pouring (and also margs and vodka too), and before you knew it all eight of us were dancing in the kitchen trying to learn the wobble. The wobble (and other notable super sexy super legit dance moves that might not look super sexy or super legit to anyone else but ourselves) was followed by a couple bachelorette-themed games, a rousing game of Heads Up (not to be confused with Heads Up 7-Up which doesn't really scream "bachelorette party" but maybe more along the lines of 3rd grade rainy day can't-go-to-recess kind of a game), Cards Against Humanity, more dancing, gifts, more alcohol, singing always, and Justin Timberlake on repeat (I got this feelin' inside my bones, it goes electric wavy when I turn it on...). 

I won't lie, I was pretty proud of the shirt that I found as a gift for Charlene:
I tried telling Nate about it when I found it online (which btw, go here cause she has more super cute shirts) cause I thought it was so funny and Nate's like, "I don't get it." So I had to explain to him what "AF" meant and how it's a thing (mom if you're reading this it means Always and Forever); so then like 30 minutes later as I'm getting ready to leave for work I'm checking my outfit in the mirror and I said aloud "I feel a little bit like a grandma in this outfit" and he goes "grandma AF." Close, Nate but not quite.

The next morning Sarah showed me this insta which was 100% accurate:

I'm just gonna be real honest and come out and say it - I snap too much when I'm drunk. It just happens and it's something I can't control guys, I don't know how to fix it ok? And everyone was giving me a hard time cause my snap story was probably like an hour long (I'm being dramatic it wasn't that long.....I hope) but yolo we all kept watching it over and over so YOU'RE WELCOME. But anyway, speaking of the next morning, we woke up drank lots of coffee and water and brunch'd so hard. 
We had a pretty mean spread of eggs, turkey sausage (cause we like to pretend to be healthy), fresh fruit, muffins, and crepes...with Nutella and peanut butter because sometimes you just get to a point when you have to stop pretending to be healthy. After that we put our suits on and headed outside for the rest of the day!
I feel like you can't really have a flamingo themed party without huge inflatable flamingo pool floaties am I right? So we made sure to have just that. We named the larger of the two Frederick, and the smaller pinker one, Frera last name Jahcka (dormez vouz, dormez vouz...that won't be funny unless you know what song that is).
Double the flamingo, double the fun:
Frederick was a real sport when we tried to play "how many girls can you fit on a giant flamingo floatie;" he wasn't havin' it anymore after about 6. 
We slowly sank forward and poor Frederick's head was the first to be submerged as Charlene yelled, "PADDLE! PADDLE!!" but it was all over after that as the whole thing flipped over and we all LOL'd. 
A video posted by Charlene 🎀 (@lifeonparkave) on

The afternoon flew by while we soaked up some Vitamin D and listened to some Florida Georgia Line and more JT on repeat (...all through my city, all through my home, we're flyin' up no ceiling when we in our zone), and before we knew it was time to get ready for Saturday night.

We crammed as many as we could in front of one mirror while we jammed out to Usher and some Fifth Harmony (don't judge you know their shiz is catchy), because why not right?
It's more fun that way....so long as you don't get burned by any stray curling irons.

We headed out for dinner at Olive and Ivy in Scottsdale...
...and then made our way to Whiskey Row for the night! We got super lucky and basically hovered in front of a table until we saw a couple paying and look like they were leaving and then we swooped right in for the kill (kill meaning the chairs, not actually killing anything of any kind).
I'm not usually the "going out" type - it's not really my usual scene, but Whiskey Row was playing THE JAMS all night long and so we couldn't help but dance together (and also fend off creeps together) all. night. long. From Shania, to the Biebs, to Sum 41 (stormin' through the party like my name was el nino...please tell me that song was your jam in high school too), to Fifth Harmony (you ain't gotta go to werk werk werk werk werk), we had the best time. 
We even saw this guy that I kid you not looked exactly like JJ Watt. And yes, we pulled him over just to tell him he looked like JJ Watt. Charlene's like, "I'm the bachelorette can we take a picturrrrre?!" He's like "Yeah what face should I make like, 'arrrrgh?!'" and he made that JJ Watt face; you know, like the furrowed brow, all JJ Watt-ish:
So basically we met JJ Watt. Sorry, I'll stop talking about JJ Watt. He's so distracting I get distracted easily by JJ Watt... 

So anyway, yeah, as if the weekend wasn't already grand enough, Saturday night was icing on the cake! We left the bar and got home at almost 2am and ironically, now that I'm typing out this sentence, ate cake. Because when there's funfetti cake laying around you don't just let it lay around...you eat the funfetti cake.

Sunday morning we woke up, packed up, cleaned up any remnants that a bachelorette party had occurred (including but not limited to, Victoria's Secret bags, empty bottles of wine, paper flamingos, beads, and/or anything that says 'brunch so hard') and said goodbye to what we dubbed thee, "Bach Pad." I was so sad to see the weekend that we had been planning for so long, go by so fast! But the good news is, it's only two short weeks until Charlene's big day!! I can't wait to stand by her side as Matron of honor, and hold her flowers, and fluff her dress, and yell "COMIN' IN HOT!" as she walks down the aisle. I mean I probably shouldn't do that last thing but yolo I can't make any promises.  

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Sunday, May 15, 2016

I Caught a Catfish and Nate Didn't

I came and sat down at my computer at roughly 8pm tonight, and now it's roughly 8:51pm and I've just typed the first words for this post. I have this thing where I look forward to blogging all day and then I sit down to do it and I check literally everythinggggg else (e.g. email, the 'Tubes, Yahoo news, Facebook, my bank account to see if there's anything left in it, etc. etc.) before starting to write a post. I think it's because I never really know how to start posts so it's almost like I procrastinate starting a post, even though I've been looking forward to it all day. It's weird and doesn't really make sense but hey, that's how everything is inside my head - everything is weird and nothing makes sense.

So anyway, now that I've started this post, let's keep it going shall we? I actually started this post a couple weekends ago but never finished because I dunno, I suck at being productive and finishing what I start? But anyway, a couple weekends ago was a really good one for more than one reason; 1.) I took Friday off so it was actually a three-day weekend, and 2.) Nate was also off for three days ON the ACTUAL weekend which means we got to hang out Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday Hallelujah! This weekend was the 6th annual Flat Cat Classic out at Bartlett Lake; it was Nate's third time participating in the tournament and my first time tagging along.

We left early Friday morning, got to the lake and didn't waste any time getting the boat out on the water to go catch some bait fish!
...Yes, when you go cat fishing you have to actually fish for your bait, then fish for the catfish. 

The weather was not ideal, to say the least, so Friday started out a little rough when we were out trying to get some Blue Gills. The wind kept pushing the boat all around and Nate was getting frustrated, and when Nate is frustrated it never makes for a good time. But alas, we found a good honey hole and soon started pulling those things out of the water like potato chips. I realize that Blue Gills are just a bait fish and they're just little guys, but I'm kind of obsessed with them. When you find them, they're easy to catch, they'll follow your bait all the way up the the surface, and....they're easy to catch. And when I fish, sustained amounts of success are few and far between so I need all the affirmation I can get. 

Friday afternoon we headed back to camp, made some lunch, then got everything ready to head out on the boat for the night.

In case you're wondering, this is what it looks like to spend a night out on the boat:
Shit errywhere. 

When Nate told me earlier in the week that we'd be sleeping out on the boat I asked him what would I do in the event I need to go to the bathroom. Perplexed he answered, "I don't know, I've never had to think about that before." Girl probs, for real. But the next day I was pleasantly surprised when I received a text from Nate with a picture stating, "Found a solution to your bathroom problem."
Marriage is when your husband buys you a bucket to pee in while you sleep overnight on the boat. Yes, I used it and yes, it was both functional and effective. Thanks, Nate.

We got our poles set up (when I say "we" I mean mostly just Nate cause he's the expert), ate our Mountain House dinner using our handy dandy Jet Boil, and enjoyed the sunset.

A few hours later I was awoken from my slumber to the sound of the bell on my fishing pole jingling (that, and Nate's voice like, "Rissa your pole. RISSA YOUR POLE.") and a few short minutes later I reeled in this Channel catfish:
I was so happy and so excited a fish was on that as soon as I woke up I started freaking out a little bit because I didn't want it to get off the line ('cause for whatever reason, that seems to be my cat fishing destiny...hook one, start reeling, and it gets off); as I'm vigorously reeling in my line Nate's like, "How about you calm down a little bit?" I'm like "Noooo I can't, I can't let it get offffff!" And it didn't. So basically, I won. And Nate didn't catch anything all night and I did and so I really felt like an extra winner. Is it all about competition though?? No, it's not. But Nate kicks my ass in everything (except spelling, I spell better than him) so the day when I catch fish and he doesn't is one for the history books. 

Saturday morning we woke up, pulled in the anchors, and headed to the dock to watch the weigh-ins.

We fished the rest of the afternoon with every intention of staying another night, but the wind and rain came in and was more than we wanted to stand for a whole night. So we literally threw everything in the back of the truck and headed out.

Despite the weather pushing us out it was such a fun weekend - mostly because I haven't actually spent a weekend with Nate in foreverrrrr. And also because I caught a catfish and he didn't


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