Some Serious Survival Skills

Has anyone seen the show, Naked and Afraid on the Discovery Channel?

I know, it's a little weird.

Two strangers have to survive for 21 days in crazy environments, with no food, water, etc., and of course...no clothes.

I'm usually all about a good survival show, butt (no pun intended) I can't understand why the TV networks want to add this element of naked-ness.

I've seen a few episodes, but I don't watch it religiously...so you can't judge me, K?

All the contestants are given a Personal Survival Rating at the beginning and end of the show based on their skill set and how they developed over the course of 21 days.

The fun part is you can go to the website and take a quiz and get your own Personal Survival Rating.

So because I'm awesome and I live a glamorous fast-paced life...I logged onto the Discovery Channel website and took the quiz.

...I won't blame you if you judge me now.

Here's my score:

3 out of 10.

THREE out of TEN.

Well, Discovery Channel, perhaps your quiz didn't enable me to put my full repertoire of survival skills on display, because believe me...they're there.

For example:

-I can braid hair.

I'm pretty sure that would come in handy when I need to make a roof for my shelter and like, braid leaves together or something.

-I was a cheerleader in high school.

So I can yell for help really loud.

...and there's a little #throwbackthursday for your Monday evening.

-I use proper grammar.

So when we need to write messages in the sand for help, they'll be spelled correctly, have the right punctuation and the correct form of "your."

Some people probably never made it off an island because their SOS message didn't make sense.

-I'm a really good snuggler.

So we'll totally be warm at night.  

Just ask Gunther...

-I'm also pretty good at Marco Polo.

So when we're in a survival situation with no cell phones and I can't call you to find out where you are should you decide to wander too far from the shelter, I'm almost positive I could track 

you down anyway.

-Animals love me.

I'm sure I could get a wild hyena to warm up to me.

-I've watched a crap-ton of hunting shows on TV, so I totally know how to track an animal and 

kill it for dinner.

You just have to like, be quiet and stuff. And aim well too.

Easy peasy.

You can't tell me all these survival skills only warrants a 3 out of 10 survival rating.

I'm the next Bear Grylls. 

I just know it.