I'm Carissa and I'm a Feminist. I think.

You can tell by the title of this post, that it might be a doozy.

And also a rant. I can't guarantee it won't turn into more of a rant.

A long one.

A long rant.

You've been warned.

If you frequent my blog often you know I don't get too deep 'round these here parts.

I avoid controversy, hot-button issues, and scandals of the like. 

I hate conflict, and I fear all the aforementioned will bring conflict to my blog and mean people will leave "anonymous" comments and then I'll cry myself to sleep at night.

I'd just rather be happy and tell you a good joke instead.

But alas, today calls for a serious post cause I've had something on my mind lately, and I think it's time it makes its way onto the blog.

Hi. I'm Carissa and I'm a feminist.

I think.

It all began on Sunday when I was perusing the interwebs and a featured story on Yahoo had something to do with Robin Thicke and his music video for "Blurred Lines."

I remember hearing a bunch of fuss about the video when it came out, but I ignored it because I really don't care about Robin Thicke.

But out of curiosity, I pulled it up on the Tubes and watched the video anyway.

So stupid.
Albeit not that much more stupid than anything else out there nowadays.

So then I went back to Google and started reading about why people were so upset about it, what all the talking-heads were saying, and lastly, what Robin Thicke himself said about it in an interview.

In a nutshell, people were upset by it because there's topless women running all around, the lyrics to the song are "rape-y" (their words, not mine), and the video is degrading to women. 

That said, when I watched the Robin Thicke video, it really didn't stand out to me as anything more scandalous than any other lame artist with a catchy song, shallow lyrics, and no creativity other than to put half-naked women running around in their video.

Even when I went back and looked up the lyrics, the lyrics didn't even stand out to me as "rape-y." After I read what people said about them, I could certainly see that. But at face value I really
wasn't that offended.

Until I read the interview Robin Thicke himself gave regarding the controversy.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you, Robin Thicke:

"...People say, 'Hey do you think this is degrading to women?' I'm like, 'Of course it is. What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman. I've never gotten to do that before. I've always respected women.'"   

(Source)

Really, Robin Thicke? Really???

I can't even...I just...I mean...ugh...you just...you can't fix stupid.

That's where my issue with Robin Thicke ends.

Cause you just can't fix stupid.

What I'm bothered by, is that women are OK with people like this, with entertainment like this, with statements like this. 

It's the status quo.

I said it myself earlier, at first glance, the video and the lyrics didn't seem 

out of the ordinary.

How sad.

This guy has a wife who defended this video.

A woman directed this video.

Why are we OK with this?

Cause the song is catchy?

Let me tell you, I'm weary.

I'm weary of being inundated with advertisements, messages, double-standards, social norms, and pop culture that objectifies women, and portrays us with no other purpose in life other than to sit there and look pretty.

And sexy.

And hot.

And that's it.

And we don't even care.

We don't even recognize it happening.

You wanna know what else really chaps my hyde?
The idea of gender stereotypes and gender roles.

I stumbled on a conversation with my coworkers last week when we started talking about lunches, and three of my coworkers (2 women, 1 guy) looked at me like I was crazy when I said I didn't prepare my husband's lunches for him.
Is that what I'm supposed to be doing?

Last Christmas my brother-in-law asked me what size jeans Nate wore so he could buy him a pair for Christmas.
I told him I didn't know what size Nate's pants were.
He said, "Don't you do his laundry?"
And then he looked at my like I was crazy when I replied, "No. I don't."

Here's the thing - Nate's a big boy. He can do his own laundry and he can make his own lunches. Just like I'm a big girl and I make my own lunches and do my own laundry.
Why is it expected that I would do that for him?
Cause I'm a woman?
Being a military man and spending 15 months overseas in war, he's had to take care of himself in ways none of us will ever have to take care of ourselves.
The guy can handle a load of laundry.

I'm really not even saying this to sound mean, or bitter, or even make Nate look bad.
These things don't come up, we don't fight about it. It's a non-issue
We both know who we married, which for him, means he does his own laundry.

I got married because I wanted a husband, not a child who I have to take care of and clean up after.
And I don't.
So why is it that our culture, and pre-determined gender roles expect me to?

Trust me, I'm rolling my eyes at me too right now.
I realize how ridiculous and cliche I sound.
But I'm not even going to apologize for it, because it's really been bothering me, this issue.

I'm tired of hearing about "rape culture" (which I won't even get into, but really, it's there) and having people excuse it; I'm tired of victim-blaming; I'm tired of hearing about women traveling overseas who are raped and then charged and held in prison for having sex outside of marriage; I'm tired of companies who can't sell a cardboard box without putting a half-naked woman in the ad; I'm tired of people making a big deal about working moms, and female breadwinners, and blaming the collapse of public education on mom who dared to "leave the house" and have career.

Society would rather you just parade around in your underwear for some tool-bag's music video.
It's so annoying.

--------------------------

I think that's all I can muster for one post.

I don't always go on a rant,
but when I do, it's a doozy.