Nine Eleven

I've been thinking all day about posting something about 9/11.

Something that sounds sincere.

Something that doesn't sound cheap. 

This has proven to be difficult for me.

Yes, we all remember where we were, what we were doing (I, quite frankly, was in the tub...shaving my legs), but do I remember how I felt?

9/11 should be a day of remembrance; but do I really remember my emotions of that day? 

Did I even have deep, rooted emotions? 

The kind that make your skin hot. 

Your hands sweaty. 

Your stomach turn.

As a freshman in high school, 9/11 was the first I'd ever heard of the Twin Towers; of terrorism. Or that the Pentagon was the epicenter of our Nations' defense. 

How is a freshman in high school to understand something like the events of 9/11, the profound amount of loss, or complexities of the politics?

I didn't.

I still don't.

I felt sad, I felt fearful, and I felt angry. But I never had to wipe my sweaty hands on my pants or fight the nausea in my stomach. I didn't grieve lost family members, or friends, or hang up any Missing Person signs.

Though as I get older, and I learn more about our current affairs, and begin to shape my own world view, I have different feelings about 9/11. Feelings that weren't there before as a Freshman in high school. I feel deep, rooted empathy for families and friends that grieve lost loved ones; I feel outraged for a direct attack on American soil; and I feel a love for my country start to boil up in me that makes my skin hot, and my hands sweaty, and my stomach turn. 

I remember that day, 9/11, and the days after and I think about how totally awesome our Nation is; the coming together to help out our neighbors, the sense of unity, the true grit and resiliency of the American people, and I feel so proud. I feel so proud to be a citizen of the greatest Nation there ever was. I feel so proud of the strength, and the might, and the bravery of the people willing to defend our Country and defend freedom. 

Operation Iraqi Freedom 07-08

When I remember 9/11 I remember not only the terrible sadness and a palpable sense of grief and loss, for loved ones and for Country, but I try and remember all things great about this Nation and how truly united we can be; and my hands begin to sweat, my skin becomes hot, and my stomach starts to turn.

...

"Now, we have inscribed a new memory alongside those others. It's a memory of tragedy and shock, of loss and mourning. But not only of loss and mourning; it's also a memory of bravery and self-sacrifice, and the love that lays down its life for a friend - even a friend whose name it never knew." 

- President George W. Bush

"Let's Roll."